Lola
by forthessia
Summary: Beginning shortly after the events of Arrival, Commander Johanna Shepard meets a handsome Lieutenant, one who gets under her skin in ways she never thought possible. So when the Reapers invaded, she just had to take him along for the ride... Rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1 :: When James Met Johanna

**Chapter 1**

**When James Met Johanna...**

* * *

"Three hundred thousand Batarians, Shepard?" David Anderson shook his head at the woman who had been his protégée, "Really? There was no other way?" It almost beggared belief, the fact that this woman, on her own, had brought about the destruction of an entire star system and with it, the destruction of several Batarian colonies.

"Anderson, if you've come to give me a lecture," the Commander sighed, "Save your breath. Hackett already beat you to i so I'll tell you what I told him." She stood from her seat, "Destroying the Alpha relay meant stopping the Reapers. We had literally only minutes to spare. Don't tell me you wouldn't have made the same decision." Maybe that comment would've been a step too far with Hackett but Shepard and Anderson and always had a good bond, she hoped she'd get away with it.

"You know what this means," Anderson continued, barely acknowledging the Commander's remark, "Not just for you but for the entire Alliance. Relations with the Batarians are bad enough without you wiping out an entire system of their colonies. The Hegemony will want blood for this, this could start a war and I won't lie to you, there's just enough evidence for them to start one." With a roll of her eyes, Shepard dismissed the newly promoted Admiral's claim of war - she had little time for Batarians, especially after one had attempted to poison her on Omega. He'd paid for that one but Shepard still watched her back whenever a Bararian was around.

"I'd do it again," she nodded her head, "And maybe the Batarians will take it as a declaration of war but there was no other option." With another heavy sigh, the Commander sat down again, feeling a bit like a jack-in-a-box - jumping up to defend herself and then sitting down again whenever she felt like making a point of her own. "You know how these things work, Anderson," she looked the older man straight in the eyes, "Someone has to make the tough decisions and I went in there on my own as a favour to Hackett, all I had was my own mind, nobody to bounce any of this shit off of." Shepard could feel herself heating up, her temper and composure were beginning to fray at the edges. "So it came down to two choices; let the Reapers through the relay so Harbinger could rain down hell or destroy the damn thing to keep them out a while longer. And yeah, a few hundred thousand Batarians died but you know what? They died so that trillions could live a while longer. Either way, those Colonies would've been wiped out, I think that's pretty much the definition of being stuck between a rock and a hard place." The cold, cold math of war.

It wasn't ideal, far from it, but even Anderson had to admit that her choice had been the right one but it that didn't mean there wouldn't be consequences. "Even so," he began again, "You'll still have to answer for this, the Hegemony has to see that we've taken action. There'll be a hearing back on Earth, I can't stop them punishing you for this, no matter how much I might agree with what you did." It was true; left to it, Anderson himself probably would've made the same decision. "But what I can do, is put in a good word. You've always had good instincts, Shepard, especially when it comes to the Reapers. Hopefully I'll be able to talk them into not court marshalling you."

"I'm not afraid of a court marshall," Shepard shrugged her shoulders, "And I'm not afraid of a few Batarian threats."

"Maybe so, but until we fix this whole mess, you won't be going anywhere in a hurry," Anderson fixed the Commander in his gaze, "You won't be leaving this room." Looking around, it was the closest thing that the Normandy-SR2 had to a brig - they may know how to build a ship, but Cerberus clearly hadn't planned on keeping prisoners on board. "You know I wish the regs were different but until we get back to Earth, you're relieved of your duties as commanding officer of the Normandy. To make sure you keep to your end end of the bargain, I'd like you to meet Lieutenant James Vega," the Admiral gestured to the mountain of a man who'd only just entered the room, "He'll be guarding this room, and you, for the foreseeable future."

With a snort of laughter, Shepard locked Vega in her sights. "Seriously? A bodyguard? I don't think tha..." Her voice trailed off as Anderson left the room, clearly not wanting to hear another word on the matter. "So, Vega," Shepard reclined, finally allowing herself to relax, "What'd you do to land yourself on guard duty? You draw the short straw or something?" There was a hint of antagonism in her voice, she found it funny that they'd probably sent the biggest soldier they could find to guard her - a tiny, albeit biotic, woman.

"Had no choice on the matter Commander," Vega didn't move a muscle, "Don't wanna do it, told the Admiral to throw me in the brig but apparently they need me to guard it. Best damn brig I've ever laid eyes on, least you're not behind bars." It was true - from now until the Normandy arrived back on Earth, Commander Shepard would be confined to the sub-deck, the space once occupied by her former crew-member, Jack.

"Yeah, yeah," Shepard grinned, her eyes scanning the Lieutenant up and down, "But it's a world away from my cabin. Well, Anderson's cabin now."

"They'll fix this whole thing when we get back to Earth," James sounded sure, "I mean, shit, you did what you had to, right? Started a shitstorm to stop a bigger shitstorm?" He crossed his arms across his chest, "Not sure I could've made that call, Commander, but I'm not the one in charge. I get why you did it, though, and the uniforms back home will see that too."

"I like the way you think, Lieutenant," Shepard grinned, "And less of the Commander. By the sounds of it, we're a package deal for the next while." She held her hand out to him, "It's Johanna, pleasure's all mine."

* * *

_All characters mentioned belong to Bioware, as does the universe. I'm just playing in their sandbox._


	2. Chapter 2 :: Confinement

**Chapter 2**

**Confinement**

* * *

"Do I still have a shirt on my back?" Shepard's eyes flared as she paced back and forth across the room. "Please tell me that I still have a damn shirt on my back." Stopping, she turned around and fixed her gaze squarely on James. "I mean, come on. They took practically everything else, why not add the shirt off my back to the list? In fact, I've a good mind to walk back in there and throw it at them myself. Actually, I think I will." Sure it was crazy but they, the Alliance, had literally taken everything else from her. With her mind made up, she made off in the direction of the door only to be stopped by Vega's left arm.

"Don't be stupid, Shepard," James couldn't help but laugh, he'd never seen her act like this before. In fact, despite her reputation for being a bit of a hard-ass, their time together so far had been relatively peaceful. She had been the Alliance's go-to soldier, the one willing to make the tough calls, the one who'd do anything to make sure the job got done. In the end, that was exactly what had been her undoing. "You're not going back in there," he walked her backward until they were a distance from the door, "You're not going anywhere right now, not talking to anyone who's not me until you calm your shit down."

"Is that right?" As she flinched away from him, she could feel her amp begin to tingle - time to reign in her anger before she was tempted to blast her way out, maybe even through him. "You know how easy it'd be for me to take you out of the equation?" Shepard balled her hand into fist and clenched it until the familiar pale blue glow encircled it. It probably wasn't wise to be threatening the man who had practically become her shadow, he'd become a friend and just as well - the Alliance hadn't allowed her many visitors since they'd brought her back to Earth. Oh, and it helped that he was easy to look at. "One flick and..." Her voice trialled off and she snapped her hand out flat, the blue orb disappeared and her eyes darkened as she looked at James.

"Damn," Vega crossed his arms over his chest, sure that all she had to do was vent her anger out of her system. "Shit, Commander, I'd heard you were crazy but this is a whole new scale of loco!" He smirked as he spoke, she was tiny but he had no doubt that she was a tightly wound ball of biotic rage. "Be my guest," he stepped aside so she'd have a clear shot at the door, "Knock yourself out. Literally, if you have to. Just be sure to take pictures when you throw that shirt of yours at the brass, the looks on their faces ain't the only thing I'd kill to see." He couldn't pass up the opportunity, especially since she'd practically handed it to him on a plate.

"You wish, Vega," she matched his smirk with one of her own and inwardly cursed the fact that he'd managed to talk her down from her temper. Self-control had never been one of her strongest suits but luckily, she'd managed to keep someone around who helped keep her temper grounded in the real world. It used to be Kaidan but after Horizon, she didn't suppose she'd have a kind word to say to him for a good, long while. Now the task seemed to have fallen to James. "Don't think you're supposed to call me Commander any more, either," she sighed and dropped onto the sofa, "I think you'll have to stick to plain old Shepard from now on. Or Johanna, whatever." Truth be told, she didn't allow many people to call her by her first name, she just felt more comfortable when people, friends, used her surname. It was routine and that particular routine was about the only one she had left.

"Think I'll stick with Shepard," James didn't move to sit beside her, "You don't really want me to call you Johanna. You're like a damn book, so easy to read and from what I've read, you really don't seem like a Johanna." Now she'd think that he was every bit as crazy as she was. He'd come up with a nickname for her eventually, just like he had for all of his friends - some people just didn't match their names and so he just gave them new ones.

"Wait, what?" She quirked an eyebrow at him, "What do you mean I don't look like a Johanna? If I don't look like a Johanna, what the hell do I look like?" That did it. All thoughts of her hearing were banished to the back of her mind - no more thoughts of losing her rank and her ship, no more thoughts about being confined to one room for the foreseeable future and no more worrying that they'd reassign Vega to duties more worthwhile than guarding her ass. He'd be sticking around, the powers that be had decreed, and there the two of them were laughing and joking just minutes after she'd threatened to turn into a biotic bomb if he didn't let her leave. The flip-flopping mood swings of Johanna Shepard.

"Hell if I know," the burly marine simply shrugged his shoulders, "But I'll come up with something. Nicknames are kinda my thing, see. Some people just don't suit their names, like you, so I just give 'em a new one, one that's easier for me to remember." They hadn't known each other long so he wasn't quite sure what kind of nickname would suit her, other than one that highlighted exactly how crazy she could be. "But hey, you just showed me your inner crazy-assed bitch so maybe I'll just call you loco from now on."

"Hey!" Shepard feigned shock as he practically called her a crazy bitch, "I'm not the crazy one, crazy things just tend to happen around me. I can't help it if some of that rubbed off on me over the years." She laughed as she crossed her legs right over left while she sat on the sofa. "Ok, maybe I'm a little crazy and maybe I wouldn't be in here if I had a pound less crazy and a pound more sanity but you wouldn't have me any other way and you damn well know it!"

"Yeah, yeah," James turned around and walked toward the door. "Guess I have to go get your shit from Anderson since you ain't allowed to leave this room. If crazy gets me a bodyguard and a servant, I might have to take a few lessons from your book, Commander." Shepard chuckled as he walked away, her eyes fixing on his rear. It really was a sight. The Lieutenant didn't turn back to look at her but it didn't stop him from throwing one last quip her way as he left the room. "Don't be getting any ideas about watching my ass," She could hear the smile in his words, "I know it's tempting." He was joking with her but she still felt the slight burn of a blush creeping across her features.

"So modest, Mr. Vega," she called back, her eyes not moving, "Keep dreaming."


	3. Chapter 3 :: Fight or Flight

**Chapter 3**

**Fight or Flight**

* * *

Out of the frying pan and into the fire - the only phrase that Shepard could think of to describe her morning. It had started quietly enough, pretty much exactly like every other morning she'd endured during her incarceration by the Alliance. She'd woken up, eaten breakfast, checked that her extranet communications were still blocked, cursed the fact that they were and watched James' morning pull-up routine. He'd set a new record, one hundred and eighty two pull-ups, and she'd been mightily impressed by the show but the similarities ended there. Vega had left to meet with Admiral Anderson and returned an hour later to escort her to an emergency session of the Defence Committee, she'd ran into Major Alenko and found that all she could do was glare at him. Asshole. And as the cherry upon this particularly crappy sundae, the Reapers had arrived. Awesome! At least it meant that she finally got to shoot something. Six months without her guns, she was beginning to feel a little naked without one but now a bunch of Batarian-Reaper things were dead by her hand. She could get used to freedom.

Now she stood in the Normandy's cargo bay, her old dog-tags in her hand and a sense that she had about two seconds to make heads and tails of everything that had just happened before she had to snap to it. Reinstated. Her rank, her command and her ship had all been returned. Granted, it'd taken an invasion to do it but the details didn't matter - she had a mission to get done. Every instinct told her to stay and fight with Anderson but she knew that one woman wouldn't even make a scratch. They needed back-up and they needed it fast.

"We're leaving," she announced to the two men in the cargo bay with her, "Anderson ordered us to the Citadel so that's where we're headed."

"Bullshit!" Came the response from a familiar voice and she spun around to see Vega storming toward her, his eyes flaring with anger, "No way would he do that."

"He just did, Vega," she logged herself in to ones of the armoury consoles, time to pick out some equipment, "We're going and that's that."

"Yeah, well, you can drop me off at the next fuel depot because I'm not leaving." God, he could be stubborn. Normally she found his stubbornness endearing but not this time. They didn't have time to stand there squabbling with each other like school children, not when the fate of their home world was at stake.

"Can it, Lieutenant," she jabbed him hard on the chest with her finger, "Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight those bastards?" She balled her fists at her side to keep herself grounded, she couldn't lose her temper within five minutes of being reinstated, that was a little too soon, even by her standards. "You don't wanna go, we all hear that loud and clear but this isn't a democracy. This is my ship, we play by my rules or we don't play at all." It amazed her that even with six months imprisonment under her belt, she slipped back into the role of Commander as though she'd never missed a step. "You want out, you can catch a ride back from the Citadel. Until then, your ass is mine until I say otherwise. Understand?" The sight of him walking away was all the response she got.

"A little harsh, don't you think?" Kaidan chimed in from his workbench, "It's his home, it's not easy to watch it burn."

"Oh, I don't know, Major." Shepard spun around on the spot and turned her ire on her former flame, "What do you think, Major?" She was aware that he now outranked her but technically not while aboard her ship, a loophole that semi-excused her borderline insubordination. "Should I go apologise, Major?" She shook her head and stepped back toward her console. "I stop a rogue spectre, kill a fucking Reaper and get Geth duty. I save the galaxy from the Collectors, stop the Reapers again and get thrown in prison for my troubles. You come along for the ride, lose a colony, train a few biotic kids and get promoted not just once but twice. I see the logic in there, sure." Her eyes scanned over the console, "Oh yeah, that's right, you're also good at sending bullshit emails. How could I forget that?!" Sure that he'd rip her a new one, she stood in silence for a few moments but he said nothing, maybe he thought she just needed to vent or maybe her words had struck a nerve, who knew. It was at that moment that she realised that James hadn't left the bay after all. Oops.

"Commander!" Joker's voice cut through her thoughts just as she was about to order Vega to forget everything he'd just heard. "Emergency transmission for you from Admiral Hackett."

"Patch it through, Joker," she sighed and straightened up in front of her console. Yet another change of plans. Instead of heading straight for the Citadel, they'd be heading to Mars first. Something about the Prothean archives, Liara T'Soni and the only way to defeat the Reapers. With a salute, Hackett signed off and Shepard returned to her thoughts for a moment or two. Mars. She'd never actually been there before. Sure, she knew what the discovery of the archives there had done for Humanity. Finding the Prothean technology there had jumped their technology forward two centuries, led to the activation of the Charon relay and the was the basis on which most of their systems worked. All of that was irrelevant, past, what mattered was the present - they had to find Liara and her intel. Time to leave.

"Joker," she called, "Set a course for the Mars archives, Hackett wants us to investigate before the system is lost."

"Mars?" Joker seemed as puzzled by the change of plans as she had been moments ago, "Aye aye, Commander."

Shepard lifted the her armoured chest plate and briefly ran her hand over the N7 insignia. For the past six months, she thought she'd never have the chance to strap into her armour again but now? Here it was. "You two," she addressed the two men who still hadn't left the cargo bay, "Grab your gear, suit up. We have to get that intel. Vega, prep that damn shuttle. I want it ready when Joker brings us into orbit. No delays and no excuses. Alenko, just make sure you're ready to go." With the orders doled out, Johanna disappeared into the elevator with nothing more than a scowl to give either of them.

As James ran through the shuttle checklist, he found himself conflicted. Should he be angry about the fact that she'd torn him a new one, laughing at the fact that Alenko got it worse, or totally turned on by the woman who'd just snapped back into her role as the Alliance's ruthless go-to soldier without as much as a second thought? He knew it was mostly a front, he'd gotten to know her throughout their time together and she wasn't always crazy, she had her moments of sanity, of clarity and, dare he say it, of sensitivity. Today just wasn't one of those days. Rightly so. She may not be from Earth but he knew she wanted to stay and fight. Damn orders. As he stepped out of the shuttle, he noted Kaidan already half into his armour.

"Hey, Major," he snapped off a quick salute, knowing he wouldn't get off with talking to a senior officer the same way he spoke to Johanna. "Where do I find my armour locker on this ship? First time on board, y'know. Feel a bit like a tourist."

"Over there," Kaidan pointed absently toward a space farther down the shuttle bay, "Welcome aboard, Lieutenant."

* * *

_A/N :: Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, follow and favourite so far! As far as this chapter goes, I know it strays from canon slightly but I didn't want to use much of the game dialogue so I've altered it to better suit my idea of full-on renegade for Johanna. Also, the scene with her ripping into Kaidan; after Horizon and after being locked up, I always thought Shepard, or at least this Shepard, would want to tear him open. Voila! Hope you enjoy._


	4. Chapter 4 :: Justified

**Chapter 4**

**Justified**

* * *

Trust. Everything seemed to boil down to it in the end. As a commanding officer, you had to trust that the soldiers under your command would follow your orders, you had to trust that they had your back. As a soldier, you had to trust that your superiors knew what they were doing, that you weren't running blindly into hell with no way out. A concept friendships were based on and a concept that one of Shepard's crew had a little trouble with. They'd landed on Mars, fully ready to rescue Liara and secure the intel, Kaidan was more than ready to forget his run-in with Shepard on the Normandy, but they'd run into Cerberus and all of a sudden his head was swimming. So he had a dilemma - did he keep quiet, maybe throw a few troopers against a wall, or did he confront the Commander about Cerberus' presence?

"Cerberus? Really?" Shepard's voice cut through the Major's thoughts, "Well if that's not spit-on-your-neck fantastic, I'll never know what is." She slung her Avenger back onto its holster on the back of her armour, "Vega, remind me to check in with whoever's dealing with our requisitions when we get back to the Normandy, I need better guns. This piece of shit Avenger ain't cutting it." Vega acknowledged with nothing more than a nod and holstered his own weapon - he couldn't have said it better himself. Standard issue weapons just weren't his cup of tea.

"Isn't anyone wondering why they're here?" Kaidan kicked one of the dead troopers over onto his back, "Isn't it just a little coincidental?" There it was, decision made. Confrontation. Maybe it wasn't the wisest call he'd ever made but, technically, he was the superior officer and he had every right to question his subordinates, especially about something so important. He may not be in command on Shepard 's ship but surely his rank had to count for something on the ground.

"Oh, here we go," Johanna sighed, time was in short enough supply without someone questioning her trustworthiness. "Man up, Alenko," she glared in his direction, her eyes not leaving his form once, "Grow a pair. If you have something to say, spit it the hell out." She shook her head and stormed past, making a bee-line for the facility's primary airlock. He sure knew how to pick his moments. "Can't this wait until after the mission?" If she had to, she'd put him in his place, she had no fear of rank or consequence - anything it took to get the job done. Besides, it'd probably take less time to tear him yet another new one than it'd take to try to reason with him.

"So you don't know why they're here? You expect me to believe that you know absolutely nothing about this?" They all stepped into the airlock and waited for the room to pressurise. Kaidan didn't understand why she was so irritated, what was he supposed to think? Cerberus had rebuilt her, they'd given her her life back and he was supposed to believe that she felt no compulsion of loyalty toward them? It just didn't add up.

"I'm not Cerberus, Kaidan," Shepard sighed, not sure she had the energy to have this particular conversation for what felt like the millionth time. "And I never was. They gave me resources, I used them to take the Collectors down. When I could, I turned myself over to the Alliance." She prodded her finger at the holo keyboard on the airlock console, willing it to work faster, nothing was more infuriating than having to justify herself over and over and over again. Although she spoke calmly, her mood was murderous.

"Commander Shepard's been under constant surveillance since returning to Earth," Vega chimed in, "No way they've been in contact." Finally, having an ever-present bodyguard paid off - she wished that Alenko could see the look on her face. Score one to Johanna, she felt as though she could kiss James. She turned around to face the two men behind her as the console bleeped to tell them that the room was finally properly pressurised. It took her a second to straighten her face before she unclipped her helmet from her armour.

"I need a straight answer," Kaidan pressed, unclipping his own helmet as he spoke. "If you're not with them, it shouldn't be too much to ask for. Give me something to work with here, Jo." He'd said it before he'd had a chance to think - old habits really did die hard.

"Excuse me?" Shepard closed the gap between herself and Kaidan before James had a chance to stop her. "Give you something to work with? What kind of bullshit is that?" She was fuming. As far as she was concerned, he had no right to question her. He'd given up that right when he walked away for, her on Horizon. "I don't know how many times I need to say this but here's hoping this time's the charm. I. Am not. With Cerberus," she placed a sarcastic stress on each word, as though she spoke to a petulant child, "I don't know why they're here, I assume they're here for the same reasons we are and no, before you ask, I don't know how they got the information." She paused to sigh but cut right back in before Kaidan had a second to gather his thoughts. "And it's Shepard," she spat her words at him as though they left a bad taste in her mouth, "You gave up any right you had to call me Jo back on Horizon." She threw an apologetic glance at James, not wanting him to feel awkward while she spat words towards her ex. "You know what, Kaidan. Think what you like, I don't care any more. If you wanna stay, stay. If you want to go, you can share a transport from the Citadel with James but while you're here, while you're part of my team, you'll not act like a pissy little boy. Get over it, Alenko, I am DONE justifying myself to you."

"So, uh," Vega felt like a third wheel, stuck as a buffer between an idiotic Major and that idiotic Major's angry former lover. Hell hath no fury like a Shepard scorned. "Don't we have an asari to go rescue or something?" He hated that Shepard had to justify herself to Kaidan like that, especially since he'd been part of her original crew, he knew her. He knew her better than most would have a chance to, himself probably included, and yet he still believed the hype. "So why don't we get in, get whatever shit it is we need and then get the hell out before the Reapers decide they want to wipe us out over here, too." For a moment, he thought he might be next in line for another of Shepard's tirades but she just smiled at him.

"After you, Major," she motioned for the door and then fell into step beside James as they walked through the bay. "Thank you," she spoke so their companion wouldn't hear, "When we get to the Citadel, I owe you a drink."

"Don't mention it," he glanced over at her. He couldn't deny that he'd developed something of a soft spot for her. Despite the fact that she could probably tear him to pieces with nothing more than her mind and her words ad her weapons, he'd seen a softer side to her from time to time and he wouldn't mind seeing a little more of it. "So, Jo," he winked, "What's the plan?"

"Don't push it, Vega," Johanna only grinned at him, "We find Liara, get the intel and then we get the hell out of here. If we wipe out a few dozen of these Cerberus bastards, all the better."

"You got it, Commander." James snapped back to being serious but he kept that smile on his face. She hadn't told him off over his use of her name ... it was a start.

* * *

_A/N :: Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out, had a lot on my plate this week. Hopefully there won't be a week between this chapter and the next! Again, I know this strays from what actually happens in the game but I always thought a full-on renegade like Johanna would be more likely to be wildly outspoken and I want to explore that. :)_

_Also, thank you to for taking the time to leave a review for every chapter so far. It's appreciated!_


	5. Chapter 5 :: Consequences

**Chapter 5**

**Consequences**

* * *

Well, that had all gone to hell quickly. As she stood pacing the waiting area at Huerta Memorial, Johanna couldn't quite decide who she was angrier at - at Cerberus for one again sticking their noses where they weren't wanted or at Kaidan for not calling for assistance sooner. If he'd just stuck to helping Liara back toward the ship, they might not even be in this position now and maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't have found herself pacing around a hospital like a worried loved one. Maybe she had been a loved one once upon a time but that time was long gone, the sun had long set on them. One good thing had come of her time spent pacing like a madwoman, she had been able to catch up with old friends, one of whom was now making herself at home in the Normandy's medbay. Thane, on the other hand, had promised to keep her up to date on Kaidan's progress, all she needed now was confirmation that he was stable and then she could leave, her duty fulfilled. Thankfully, that confirmation came in the form of another familiar face.

"Doctor Michel," Shepard shook the woman's hand and listened as she delivered her news. Head trauma, fractured skull, an L2 amp given more than a little jostling. In the long run, she supposed he would be fine but for the moment, he was unconscious and he would remain so until they were sure everything was alright. "Glad to hear it," Shepard acknowledged the woman's update with a nod, "I'm afraid I can't stay, I have to get to Udina's office for a meeting with the Council. Maybe now that they're here in force, attacking our home worlds, the Reapers won't be able to be ignored this time." It was a very convenient excuse, sure, but she had no qualms about using it. Kaidan had doubted her once too often, she didn't want to see him, especially not when she couldn't chew him out about Mars. Telling someone off while they couldn't attempt to respond was absolutely no fun at all. Besides, if things went sideways at the meeting, she'd need all of her wits about her when she chewed the Council out over their inaction. Again. When it came to them, it was all she ever seemed to do.

* * *

The meeting didn't go well. Once again, the Council was turning its back on what was right in front of it. The Reapers had arrived, Earth and Palaven were already burning and still they had no interest in teamwork. Even someone like Shepard could appreciate the need for teamwork at a time like this. No one race on its own could repel a force like that, they needed the full might of the galaxy to even stand the tiniest of chances. She had her Spectre status back, though, so that was one thing. As she wandered out of Udina's office, a Turian request swimming through her thoughts, she spotted James taking in the view at a window near the Hanar office. "Penny for your thoughts," she grinned at him as she nudged him in the ribs, breaking him out of whatever trance he was in.

"Oh hey, Shepard," Vega sighed, "I was just wondering if things could be any more normal here. It's like the war doesn't even exist." He was right. Even if the politicians were aware of the war at hand, nothing had really changed on the Citadel. Outwardly, at least. The sheer volume of refugees told another story entirely. "They just go on with their business as though nothing happened but Earth is burning but I think I get it now." Johanna quirked an eyebrow at him, wondering what it was he now understood. "We can't do this on our own," he shrugged, "And yeah, it sucks ass that we had to leave but on our own we'd be useless. We need these pendejos to wake up and throw down with us."

"There it is," Shepard laughed, lightly punching her fellow marine on the arm, "The penny finally dropped, huh?" For once, her teasing was good natured. She actually liked James - he was good people, even if he could be a little slow on the uptake. "You're right," she nodded and turned her gaze out of the window, "People here haven't had to smell the coffee yet but the war will be everywhere soon enough. They won't be able to ignore it for long and when they finally do wake up, you and I are gonna be here with a huge fucking cup of I-told-you-so, deal?"

"Deal," Vega turned from the window to examine Johanna, now that he was along for the ride, he wondered where they'd be heading off to next. "So what's next on the agenda? From the look on your face, I'm guessing it doesn't involve kicking Reaper ass and taking names?"

"No, it doesn't." She sighed. "They gave me my Spectre rank back, decided not to help just now but, y'know, maybe later." With a shake of her head, she balled her fists at her side. "The Turian councillor wants me to rescue their Primarch, Fedorian or something, for a war summit. Apparently it can't proceed without him. He's not on Palaven, it's been overrun, so he's on Menae, one of its moons. Apparently they can't rescue him themselves, maybe they've forgotten how to shove someone's ass onto a transport and fly it outta there but whatever. I'll be their genie, grant them a wish, and then maybe I get Turian support for the war."

James recognised the look in her eyes, she was struggling to hold on to her anger. She was a soldier, she wanted to be in the fight, not running around rescuing diplomats. "Nothing's ever easy, huh?" James smiled, "I've never been to Palaven before, shame the first time had to be to help pull their asses out of the fire."

"By the end of this mission, you still won't have been to Palaven," Shepard turned to walk toward the elevator, "We're going to Menae, remember, the moon? Were you not listening to me?" She heard the thudding of his boots as he followed her.

"Yeah, Menae, right." James corrected himself, "Shit. Close enough." Smooth.

"We'll be heading out as soon as possible," she stepped into the elevator and stepped to the side so James could join her. "Sooner we get there and pick up Fedorian, sooner we're outta there and the sooner I find out exactly what these alliances are gonna cost me. I'm no fucking diplomat," she sighed heavily and jabbed at the button for the Normandy's docking bay, "It'll take a damn miracle for me to pull this one off, Vega."

"Oh, I don't know, Jo," there he went again, using the nickname Kaidan had used back on Mars - she hadn't torn him a new one yet. "You have a reputation for pulling off the impossible," it was true, after all, "And for being bat-shit crazy." It was his turn to nudge her this time, hoping he'd manage to lift her mood at least a little.

"Watch it, _Jimmy_," she threw back at him, still making no attempt to tell him off over his use of the shortened version of her name. He'd once told her that he'd find a nickname for her, she just supposed that he hadn't quite gotten around to finding one that suited her yet. "If you keep calling me Jo, I might need to do something about it," she joked, trying to keep her face as stern as possible.

"Knock yourself out, _Jo_," he laughed and chanced his luck one more time, seeing right through the mask she tried to wear, "Your place or mine?"

Shepard couldn't keep a straight face any longer. "Mine," she replied as she stepped off the elevator, she could almost hear the sound of his jaw dropping. "And stop staring at my ass, this uniform does it no justice."

* * *

_A/N :: Sorry for the delay in this chapter - the good news is that I already have the next chapter planned and the better news is that it includes drunk Vega AND drunk Shepard. Funny stuff!_

_Also, thanks again "Katschaba" for taking the time to review all of the chapters so far, and to "eboncat" for the review on the last chapter! The reviews are definitely appreciated._


	6. Chapter 6 :: Give An Inch

**Chapter 6**

**Give An Inch...**

* * *

The mission on Menae had been a little more complicated than expected but they'd gotten there in the end. Fedorian was already dead by the time Shepard arrived so she'd been sent on a wild goose chase, almost, to find General Victus - the new Primarch. The war summit itself wasn't for two days, the Normandy was on course to arrive at the rendezvous in a day so now that Garrus had once again joined their group, Johanna figured they had a night to let loose and let everyone catch up. Even in war times, everyone needed to let their hair down, if only to forget.

Gathered in the lounge, Vega, Garrus and Cortez had gotten to know each other over various drinks from the bar, all getting louder as the evening went on. Joker was missing, instead opting to spend his time at the helm. The women, Shepard, Traynor, Liara and Chakwas, had spent some time catching up over wine and brandy, that was until Johanna grew bored with the small talk of wine and had swapped the more civilised conversation for beer and poker with the boys.

"Two pair," Vega slammed his cards down on the table triumphantly as Garrus shook his head. James was well on his way to cleaning the Turian out. "Looks like these are all mine." He laughed and reached to collect his winnings but was stopped by Shepard's hand on his arm.

"Not so fast, big guy," she took another swig from her beer and revealed her own cards. "Royal flush," she smirked and swatted his hands away from the chips on the table. "So these," she laughed, "Are all mine."

"Aww, shit," James laughed, "You bluffed me!" James was used to being the one bluffing everyone else, his poker face had very few tells. "No worries, I'll get you back for that one, Commander." He turned his attention firstly to his drink and then to dealing the next hand. Garrus, with very few chips left, decided not to play another hand, leaving James and Johanna to get on with it.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Lieutenant," Johanna's eyes twinkled with mischief as she cracked another bottle open on the side of the table.

They played on until the beer ran out and then they switched to the last of the wine, everyone eventually ending up gathered around the poker table. Shepard wasn't sure who had turned the music up and she didn't really care, the beat coursed through her. "Come on, Vega," Johanna drawled, her words beginning to slur, "I thought this was your game, I heard you were a master bluffer." She discarded one of her cards and took another from the pile. "But here I am taking all your money, if you lose any more, I might have to take that shirt right off your back, too."

"Hey," James downed the last of his whiskey, "If you wanna see what's underneath, all you gotta do is ask." He glanced at his cards, tossed one aside and took another from the pile, "I know the ladies can't get enough of the guns." Satisfied with his hand, he placed his cards down on the table. "Maybe I'll be the one taking the shirt off your back," he kept a straight face, despite the urge to smile, and nodded toward her hand. "Let's see 'em."

"Shit," Shepard cursed as she threw her hand on the table, "Shit, shit, shit. You win." She stood from the table, took a second to find her balance, the alcohol made her head swim just a little. "Screw poker," she turned around, again needing a split second to regain her balance, "I wanna dance. C'mon, Liara, dance with me!" She grabbed the asari's hand and pulled her into the middle of the room and began to move with the music, drawing a laugh from Garrus.

"Watch it, Vakarian," Johanna laughed as she stumbled slightly, "Maybe I can't dance but you- wow, I'm drunk, my feet don't wanna work." Liara steadied her and she went right back to dancing. "Jimmy!" she continued, temporarily forgetting all about Garrus as she held her hand out in James' direction. "Come dance with me!" He didn't move until he'd downed another whiskey. Part of him wanted to tell the Commander off for drinking too much, a drunk biotic could be quite a handful, but the man in him was more interested in how hot she looked dancing with Liara. She couldn't dance, seemed to move against the music rather than with it, but that didn't matter. She had fun, and fun was hot.

He slammed his glass back down onto the surface of the table, crossed the room and took her hand. Immediately, she pulled him close to her, slowing her movement for a moment. "Hi, you," her eyes twinkled with that same mischief from before she whirled herself around so she stood with her back to him. James took a second to enjoy the view and boy, what a view it was. He'd always found her attractive, never had the balls to say it, he valued his life too much, but as she danced against him, her back to him, it was a tough task not to appreciate how pretty she was. His eyes scanned downward, from where her black hair fell across her shoulders to the feminine curves of her waist and hips - he couldn't tear his eyes away, not even when he began moving with her.

"You're checking out my ass again," Johanna glanced over her shoulder and then spun around again, her hand finding a place on his chest. "I told you before, this uniform does it no justice."

James reluctantly pulled his gaze upward as his hands fell to her hips. "Damn, Shepard," he shook his head with a laugh, "If the uniform does it no justice, it must be something else in something that does." He looked around and noticed that people had started leaving - Garrus, Cortez, Chakwas and Liara had all left, leaving the two of them with only Traynor for company. "Looks damn good from where I'm standing."

Shepard didn't respond, instead she just kept dancing. Any other man would've had at least a broken nose by now but she didn't mind James' hands on her and for the amount she'd had to drink, the beers, whiskey and wine, she was still managing to keep her biotics in check surprisingly well. Eventually she noticed Traynor stumbling out of the door and she couldn't help but laugh. "She's drunk," Johanna pointed toward the door and then stumbled toward the sound system.

"So are we," he watched as she changed the mix, replacing the club beats with loud guitars and drums. Rock music. "Aaah," he laughed his approval at the change in music and then poured them both another whiskey, "You like the old school stuff too?" James downed his drink in one gulp and watched Johanna do the same. "Twenty-first century riffs," he couldn't believe she was into the old stuff, "They just don't do riffs like that now. It's all dancy, nightclub bullshit. Don't get me wrong, you look damn good dancing to it but shit, sometimes you just need a big, meaty guitar riff, y'know?"

"Yup, my jaaaaams" Johanna turned the volume up another notch and pulled James back to the middle of the room just as the next song kicked in. "I love this one," she pulled him close again, not bound by protocol or inhibition, "Have you seen the movie?"

"Jo, _everyone_ has seen this movie," Vega laughed, his hands falling back to her hips just like they had before, "_Everyone_ knows this fucking song." He knew it off by heart, it was a classic in his book. Maybe it was the drink talking but in a split second, he had an arm around her waist, holding her back flush against his body. When she didn't immediately pull away, he went with it, moved with her, half willing her to keep grinding against him but half wishing she'd stop. In for a penny, he thought, and dipped his head so he could whisper in her ear.

_I've been meanin' to tell ya_  
_I've got this feelin' that won't subside_  
_I look at you and I fantasise_  
_You're mine tonight_  
_Now I've got you in my sights_  
_With these hungry eyes.._

He whispered the words into her ear along with the music, all inhibition gone. What's the point in half-assing? She had started it after all! It only spurred her on, she pushed herself back against him as though she wanted closer. He skipped the chorus, opting instead to tighten his grip at her waist - give him half of an inch and he'd take a light year.

Come the middle of the song, Johanna had turned herself around. "That's hot," she grinned, she wasn't the wordiest of drunks, it was taking most of her concentration to make her feet do what she wanted them to. Reaching up, he trailed her finger tips down his cheek and around his jaw, her index finger coming to rest on his chin. It was all the chance James needed to walk her backward toward the poker table.

"Ow," Johanna glanced back at the table as she hit it, "Table."

"Screw the table," his voice was a low growl, "Or on it, that'd be hotter." Now that was an idea. She hopped to sit on the edge as he leaned down, quickly capturing her lips in a kiss. Not his best work, not by a mile, he'd had a drink or two too many for his best but it was good enough. He let his tongue tease along her bottom lip until she relaxed and tangled her own tongue with his. He felt her hand trailing down his front and then a tugging at his shirt before she pulled back from him, that look in her eyes again.

"Not here," she grinned and pushed him back, "Not here." Shepard stood quickly, hit the stereo control to turn the music off and grabbed Vega's arm again, this time tugging him toward the door. She didn't stop to check the deck for onlookers before she pulled him back in for another kiss as they waited for the elevator. Fraternisation had never bothered her before, why should she start caring now, of all times? The elevator pinged and she pulled back again, letting him step in beside her. She thumped the button marked as "Captain's Quarters" with her fist and this time took James' hand, marvelling at how small her own hand looked in his as their fingers intertwined.

"So I guess it's your place after all," James pulled her in again, trailing lighter kisses down her neck.

"You bet," Johanna sighed as the elevator doors opened at her cabin. "EDI," she kicked her shoes off and almost fell over again. "Damnit," he steadied her, "My feet really don't work. EDI," she tried again, "No visitors, no messages, nothing." She couldn't hear the AI respond thanks to the feel of James' lips on her neck again.

A long time coming, this was going to be fun...

* * *

_A/N :: The song they dance to in this chapter is New Found Glory's cover of Hungry Eyes. The chapter didn't exactly turn out as I'd originally planned but I think I like this version better than what I'd planned! I hope you enjoy readind about drunken James and Johanna as much as I enjoyed writing about them._

_As always, thank you to "GothicGirl," "eboncat," "Aubrey1207," "Katschaba," and "Zee," for all the reviews on the last chapter - I love hearing feedback. :)_


	7. Chapter 7 :: Take A Mile

**Chapter 7**

**Take A Mile**

* * *

When dreams were that good, it seemed like a crime to wake up. Nope. No waking up. Johanna lay still, as if willing herself to drift back off to sleep, back into the world of dreams where James had been so _good_ to her. But no. No amount of telling herself to sleep was dulling the pounding in her skull, she could feel her amp buzzing at the base of her skull as it fought its way through the alcohol in her bloodstream. Sure, biotics recovered faster but it didn't mean they didn't have killer hangovers like everyone else until their amps caught up.

"Shit," she cursed out loud, her voice little more than a hoarse whisper, "I am never drinking again." Every time she woke with a hangover, Johanna made the same promise and every time, she found her way back to a bottle of beer. Pointless promises to herself. Glancing at the wall, she noticed the numbers blinking 0839, meaning that the Normandy's morning cycle was well underway. "EDI," she spoke louder now, willing her head to stop pounding, "Can you dim the lights in here? It's about five notches too bright." The AI didn't respond as she dimmed the lights, no doubt remotely monitoring Shepard's biometrics. Without the head-splitting light, Johanna finally opened her eyes and looked around the room. From where she lay on her side, she couldn't see very much but nothing looked to be too out of place. Except for the two pairs of boots by the sofa. And the line of clothes strewn around the foot of the bed - two shirts, two sets of dog tags, her underwear. Hang on. "Well, damn," she grinned, suddenly aware of a body behind her and the strong arm around her waist, holding her close. Those dreams hadn't been dreams after all.

"Dreams?" Came his voice, a low rumbling from behind her, "What dreams?" Vega loosened his grip on her long enough for her to turn around to face him. He didn't even look hungover. _Lucky bastard_, she thought, he looked as fresh as a daisy. His hand trailed down her side and over the curve of her hip, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Yeah, dreams," she traced a finger down his chest, "About you. About me. About us doing the things Joker's extranet search history is filled with. And you," she kissed him lightly, fully aware that what she was about to say would inflate his ego tenfold, "Were incredible."

"Oh," Vega grinned smugly, " I had those dreams, too. I had no idea you were so wild." He kissed her again. "Not that I'm complaining or anything," he turned his attention to her neck, peppering kisses downward, "I like my women wild but next time, maybe we can tone things down."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Johanna used the hand on his chest to push him back, "Your women?" Talk about a mood killer. Johanna belonged to nobody, she was very much her own woman, relationships just weren't her thing. She had walls that even a Hades cannon would have trouble breaking through, trust didn't come easily for her off the battlefield. "I may be wild but I'm not one of your women, Vega, and there won't be a next time." She sat up, clutching the chest to her chest. "There can't be a next time." Johanna knew if she kept him close, she'd let him in and she couldn't allow anyone past those walls again, not when every time she had, she'd ended up hurt.

"Oh, come on," James laughed, "You know that's not what I meant. I know you don't belong to me, I'm not some god-damn caveman." He sat up behind her, his arm once again finding its way around her waist for a second before she shrugged him off. "So that's it," his face hardened, the humour of before vanished, "We fuck, it's amazing, and you just, hell, you just throw me aside? Like some cheap-ass toy you don't want anymore?"

"It's not like that," Johanna jerked away from him, reached for her shirt from the floor and roughly pulled it over her head. She struggled to find the words to explain her thoughts to him. Anyone else talking to her like that would've been torn a new one by now but, surprisingly, she found she didn't have it in her. This was the man who had guarded her for six months on Earth, he'd kept her company, helped her keep her sanity when the Alliance kept visitors from her, he'd followed her to Menae and she had no doubt he'd follow her into Hell itself when it came to it - and all of that despite the fact that she had once threatened to biotically slam him through a wall. He was right. She was a wild one but she wasn't one for relationships, not now, no matter how much of a soft spot she had for the man.

"So tell me what it is, then," he moved to pull his boots on, "Or does the caveman not deserve to understand whatever the fuck just happened? You're Johanna Shepard, I know you're a ruthless bitch out there." James nodded toward the bulkhead. "And you know what? It's hot as hell watching you shred those Reaper things just with your mind. You're a force of nature. But this hot and cold thing you're doing right now is bull and you know it, Jo."

"Don't call me Jo," she shook her head as she pulled her own boots on, "Just don't." Standing, she crossed the room to where he sat on the edge of her bed. "You really wanna know?" James just looked at her and nodded. "I don't do relationships, Vega," she crossed her arms over her chest, "The last relationships I had? Kaidan? Well, everyone knows how that one turned out, don't they? He can't trust me and because of that mistrust, I sure as hell can't trust him now. Jacob? He left as soon as we turned the ship over to the Alliance. Haven't heard from him since and I'm sure Alenko'll find a way to hold him against me, too. I don't let people in now because when I do, they break me down. They tell me that I've betrayed them or they leave at the first chance. And as much as I want you, I can't do it to myself again." She turned away from him as he stood, now fully dressed just like her. "So there you have it, your heartless bitch isn't all so heartless after all, huh? Just a big damn girl," she spat the word as though it left a bad taste in her mouth, "Yeah, I'm crazy out there but with this stuff? I'm as guarded as they come. This can't happen."

James stepped toward her, his arms encircling her waist, and held her tightly as she struggled to pull away from him.

"Hey, hey," he grinned as she stopped struggling and rested her forehead against his shoulder, "I'm not Major Asshole, ok? And I'm not that Cerberus dude, either. If he left, hell, he's an asshole, too. I'm just me and sure, I can be a jerk as much as you can be a bitch. We'll fight, we'll argue, you'll probably threaten to slam me through a bulkhead a few more times but I can take it and I won't run, I won't walk away just because you can't always keep yourself in check."

"You mean you're not a pussy," Johanna laughed against his shoulder. "You think you can melt an ice queen." She didn't attempt to move from her place in his arms, finding his embrace comforting. So comforting, in fact, that she momentarily forgot about her hangover.

"Well I did have that ice queen in bed last night," James kissed the top of her head, "Didn't seem so icy then. And you don't seem so icy now. If you want me, I'm yours, just give it a chance."

"Fine." She sighed. "Fine. You win. We'll give this, us, a shot and I won't tell anyone about your little speech right there if you don't tell anyone that their commander doesn't actually have a heart of stone, deal? Just don't rush me, ok? I believe you but just, don't push me."

"Deal," James dipped his head to gently press his lips to hers, glad that she didn't immediately tense. "For the record, I kinda like this side of you. You don't shimmer as much, the biotics, I mean. You seem relaxed."

"Don't get used to it," Shepard laughed, "I am who I am, no apologies. An ice queen, ruthless, a bitch, whatever, that won't change just because I'm with you." She winked up at him. "The biotics flare whenever I feel my temper fraying, you should know that. It takes a lot of self-control to keep them down, can't always do it so I'd get used to them, too, if I were you."

"You got it, Lola, you got it."

* * *

_A/N :: So there you have it, a look at Johanna's rarely seen sensitive side. As she said, don't get used to it, it doesn't show itself very often. I know this is a quick update, only posted the last one yesterday, but I think I really know where I want to go with this story now so hopefully the updates will be more frequent - just don't bet on daily updates!_

_As always, thank you to "Katschaba," "Zee," and "Aubrey1207" for the reviews on the last chapter - I hope this one is a contrast to the last!_


	8. Chapter 8 :: Truth Bombs

**Chapter 8**

**Truth Bombs**

* * *

Diplomacy was a waste of time. People stood at summits and meetings making demands of each other and then bickering amongst themselves until eventually, everyone reached an uneasy compromise. Stood in her Alliance dress blues, Johanna stood at the head of one such meeting, pinching the bridge of her nose to keep herself from delivering a few home truths. The Krogan wanted a cure for the Genophage, the Salarians utterly opposed it - all she wanted was to be done with the summit, this was ridiculous. She was a soldier, not a politician and she lacked the patience for what was playing out before her. Wrex had stated his case, the Salarian Dalatrass has attempted to shoot him down, the Primarch surprisingly sided with Wrex. Was this the point where she was supposed to offer an opinion? Oh hell, she thought, well, here we go.

"If Krogan boots on Palaven is the only way forward with you," Johanna pointed at Victus, "And the only way to get Krogan boots on Palaven is to cure the Genophage," she spoke confidently, trying to keep her frustration out of her words, "Then I'm curing the Genophage. Simple as that." She turned to Wrex, "Look, you know I don't have the patience for these sorts of meetings so why don't you just tell me where your mole wants us to go and we'll go get your females, get this damn ball rolling."

As Wrex laid out the data, Johanna kept a close eye on the Dalatrass, ready to jump down her throat as soon as she opened her mouth to speak. She didn't have to wait long.

"And here's what the Salarian Union can do for me," she turned to look at the Dalatrass through narrowed eyes, "You can authorise me and my team to land at the facility on Sur'Kesh. You can tell the scientists that we're on or way to relieve them of their Krogan. You can tell them that a Spectre will be overseeing the exchange and you can make sure that all of that happens before we arrive." Johanna could hear Wrex trying to conceal a laugh. "On second thought, it doesn't really matter if it gets there before we do, I'm going in anyway. I'm not asking for your blessing to do this, Dalatrass, it's happening with or without it."

"If you do this, Commander, we won't be offering any assistance with your Crucible project," came the Salarian's icy reply.

"What a shame," Johanna growled, "We'll just have to build it without you, then. No problem." She glared at the Dalatrass, almost daring her to speak again but when no reply came, She turned back to Wrex. "You're more than welcome to take a place in the war room," she gestured over her shoulder, "Glad to have you back." Frowning, she undid the topmost button of her jacket. "Joker," she spoke to the comm link, "Jump us to Sur'Kesh as soon as possible. Tell Vega and Garrus to be ready to suit up, we have precious cargo to secure. And Traynor, get me Admiral Hackett. Forward the link to the comm room when you have him and let me know immediately." With her ship orders handed out, she turned back to the meeting. "I think we're done here. Primarch Victus, Dalatrass Linron, Wrex." With nods around the table, everyone left and Johanna, for once, chose to ignore the Dalatrass' parting shot.

"Careful, commander," Shepard scowled at the sound of her voice, "A bully has few friends when he needs them."

* * *

"So we're curing the Genophage, huh?" James stood at his workbench in the shuttle bay, modifying his shotgun. "Ballsy move, Lola. Heard you chewed the Salarian out."

"How he hell did you hear that?" Johanna quirked an eyebrow, she hadn't been shouting so nobody could've heard unless they had an ear pressed to the door. The comm link hadn't been on. "Wait," she shook her head, stuck somewhere between being amused and being angry at her own damn ship. "EDI, did you tell the Lieutenant about the Dalatrass?"

"Yes, Commander," came the disembodied reply, "I considered it prudent that the ground team be fully informed especially as you advised you would enter the facility with or without the permission of the Dalatrass. Both Garrus and Lieutenant Vega have been informed, both appeared to be willing to follow you in any ground offensive, even a non-sanctioned one."

"Shit," Johanna cursed softly, "Next time, leave the mission briefings to me. If I want my team to know that I've just torn a councillor or a president or a Primarch or a Dalatrass, a new one, I want the enjoyment of telling them myself. It's one the few perks of being in command, I get to freak everyone out talking about my nuclear truth bombs. You know that, EDI, how many times did I piss Miranda off talking the Illusive Asshole? How long until we orbit Sur'Kesh?"

"Twenty-six hours, Commander," Joker responded, "Fourteen hours to the relay, twelve at the other side."

"Wish I could've seen you in there, Lola," James was still laughing, "I guess the Salarians won't be coming along for the ride this time? I mean, if you had to go all loco on what's-her-name then..." His voice trailed off as Johanna yawned. "Oh come on," he laughed again, in a surprisingly good mood for someone modifying a shotgun. That was tricky business. "Tired? I'm not that boring, am I?" He stepped back from the bench and glanced over his shoulder, Cortez was working on the shuttle, as always, so on the far side of the bay, they had a little privacy. As long as they were quiet about it, of course. "I can think of a few ways to wake you up," James grinned as he took her in his arms.

"Oh really? I'll bet you can," Johanna stifled another yawn, "And no, you're not boring at all. In fact, you're the little bright spot in what has been a total shit storm of a day. More of a shit storm than yesterday, hopefully tomorrow will be less of a shit storm." She snaked her arms around him, too. "I just haven't slept well the past couple of nights, I keep having these bullshit nightmares, all fire and whispers. So last night, I filed all of my reports and cleaned up my armour, not a scratch on it." With her finger hooked in the chain of his dog tags, she pulled him down into a kiss. "The night before, I replied to every single unread message in my extranet account, I sent off a few requisition orders and got very friendly with a pot of coffee. And now here I am, running on no sleep and a lot of coffee, still stuck in this fucking dress uniform because I've not had a free second today. Until now."

"Maybe it's time you got friendly with someone else, huh?" James whispered into her ear, "An encore?" He nipped at her earlobe, "Make a night of it? I'll bring dinner up, watch a vid, maybe even one of Joker's bookma- ow, hey!" Johanna had punched his arm but she couldn't keep from laughing. "I was kidding!"

"Yeah, yeah," she laughed, "Sure you were. And you were so close, you had me until you mentioned Joker. Hint, trying to get me into bed? Don't mention another guy. Rookie mistake." She stepped back from him, "Rookie mistake." She stepped off toward the elevator and then turned back around, "But if you wanna try your luck, bring me dinner in a half hour. I gotta change outta this uniform and shower first and no, I don't need any company in there but if you wanna stay the night, chase the nightmares away. Well, lets just say I won't object." With a wink, she was off toward the elevator again.

"I know you're watching my ass, Vega," this time she spoke loud enough for Cortez to hear, "Not even a dress uniform does it justice."

"Got that right, Lola," James laughed and decided to call her bluff, "Looks much better in the buff."

As the doors closed on her, he could see the split-second of shock on her face dissolve into fits of laughter. Maybe he wouldn't pay for that later but hell. He hoped he would.

* * *

_A/N :: So I've been toying with a few ideas lately, now that I know what I want to do with James and Johanna over here - they're a ton of fun to write about! I've been considering writing Johanna's Cerberus story, purely because some of those "truth bombs" would be hilarious. Also, I've a list of one-shot prompts (30 of them, actually!), and I've been thinking about using them for these two for a set of one-offs ... good ideas, bad ideas?_

_As always, thank you to "eboncat," "Aubrey1207," "Katschaba," and "Zee," for the reviews! You guys are all awesome. :) Reviews are always, always appreciated!_


	9. Chapter 9 :: Water Under the Bridge

**Chapter 9**

**Water Under the Bridge**

* * *

Another day, another battle passed and yet another stop at the Citadel. Johanna hated having to waste time on the station, especially when the time could be better spent on any number of war-related things. Like modifying her guns, for example, or customising her armour or maybe even pulling a Krogan battalion out of whatever hell hole they'd managed to find themselves in the middle of. All of those things were a hundred times more fun than having to deal with the hustle and bustle of the Citadel and yet there she was, walking through the crowds near bay D24 with an invisible storm cloud floating over her head. Her mood wasn't lifted when she thought of the reason for the visit, either. She hated hospitals, hated being in hospital, hated visiting hospitals, hated seeing doctors hovering over the ill and injured, but Kaidan had asked her to visit - it was time for them to set their differences aside.

"So, remind me," James trailed behind Johanna as she made her way thought the corridors of the Citadel, "Why are you going to visit the Major? He was a real asshole on Mars. You don't owe him anything, Lola, least of all a visit."

"You're right," Johanna glanced over her shoulder, "He was an asshole on Mars. And he was an absent asshole that whole time we were stuck in Vancouver, and he was an asshole back on Horizon, too, take my word for it." She sighed at the elevator and practically punched the button marked for Huerta. "But he asked nicely and at the end of the day, he was hurt on my watch, under my command, almost, and I don't like it." With the ping of the elevator, she stepped in and waited for James to catch up. "Plus, it's time that he and I cleared the air between us. That's long overdue."

James didn't know much about Kaidan, all he knew was what he'd managed to talk out of Liara and what little Johanna herself had told him, but he'd seen how he'd treated her with his own eyes on Mars. He wasn't a fan. "I just don't get it. I mean, the guy was a real dick at the archives. He basically called you a traitor, Lola, that's not ok in my book. But as soon as he sends you a message asking to see you, you drop everything to come visit? It makes no sense."

"Drop everything to come see him?" Johanna sighed, not liking where they were headed. "Funny, I thought I got the message, went to Sur'Kesh, blasted a few Cerberus troops to hell, rescued a female Krogan, blah, blah, blah, and then came here to visit." She wasn't in the mood for an argument, especially not in an elevator. "It's just a visit, James, that's all, nothing more and nothing less. Besides, he and I were friends once, it'd be nice to be able to call him a friend again. I don't understand why that's such a big no-no for you." She looked up at him and shook her head, "Really, it's no big deal."

"No big deal, huh?" Maybe it wasn't. Maybe Alenko only wanted to apologise, make things right, but James couldn't shake the feeling that something else would be on the Major's mind. "I just don't think it's a good idea. I mean, shit, Lola. The two of you, you have history, right? You were a lot more than friends once. He gets hurt, almost dies and now all of a sudden he's gone from calling you a Cerberus traitor to wanting to see you? Trust me, he has more than apologising on his mind." Maybe he shouldn't have said it but now that he had, well, might as well dig himself in deeper. "He'll apologise, sure, maybe you'll even forgive him but I guarantee you that he wants more. I'm a guy, I know these things. Shit, and he's a fucking biotic, too, you're both fucking biotics, talk about a match made in heaven or whatever."

With his miniature rant over, James only shrugged as Johanna glared at him. "What the fuck, James? You feel threatened by a man in a hospital bed? What kind of shit is that?" She pinched the bridge of her nose to keep herself from raising her voice. "I don't have feelings for Kaidan, not any more. Any feelings I had died the day he walked away from me on Horizon, if he couldn't trust his feelings then, I can't trust them now, not that I'd want to." Sighing, she raked a hand back though her hair, sweeping it away from her eyes before she spoke again. "And speaking of trust, if you can't trust that I want to be with you then what the hell are we doing? I'm gonna have friends who are guys, Vega, I'm a marine for crying out loud, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna jump into bed with all of them."

"That's..." James trailed off, "That's not what I mean. All I meant was that Alenko, Kaidan, whatever the fuck you wanna call him, probably has other things on his mind. Hell, he probably has you on his mind. I know I would."

The elevator doors opened and Johanna stepped out. "Look," she still glared at him, "I don't have time to babysit you. If you can't trust that I'm with you because I want to be and if you can't trust that I won't just fall into Kaidan's arms, then what are we doing?"

All James could do was watch as she strode off towards intensive care.

* * *

Kaidan's room had a gorgeous view of the presidium and the outer wards, the lake glistened in the light of the station's day cycle and Johanna couldn't tear her eyes away from it. "Damn," she laughed as she sat down at his bedside, "I don't know how anyone gets anything done around here when that's the view. No wonder they don't see the war, it's so peaceful."

"Yeah," Kaidan's voice was huskier than normal, do doubt as he was still recovering, "It's beautiful but after the first few days, it gets a little boring. Been stuck here alone with my thoughts for too long now. Can't wait to get back to it."

"I'll bet," she half laughed, "A soldier's place isn't a hospital bed. Being here for this long would drive me mad."

"It's driving me mad, too, believe me." He laughed, "Udina offered to promote me to Spectre the other day, been mulling it over ever since. It's a big deal, y'know? I just want to be sure that it's what I want."

Johanna was stunned. Kaidan as a Spectre? After he got his head bashed in by a Cerberus AI? Plus the two Alliance promotions, she was soundly stuck on a count of zero. "Spectre Alenko? Has a nice ring to it," she kept her voice level, even managed to throw in a smile for good measure, "I say go for it. Nothing quite like the freedom of being a Spectre and let's face it, I'd know."

Kaidan was silent for a second, no doubt letting her nod to her past sink in. The past he hadn't been part of, that he'd walked away from. "Yeah, about that," he glanced away from her for a second, "Horizon. That didn't exactly go well, did it."

"Saying it didn't go well is an understatement," Johanna fixed him with a stare, "It was a disaster. I'd been dead for two years, was biding my time with Cerberus, and then there you were telling me how much of a traitor I was. You're a real stubborn bastard, you know that, Alenko? When you've got an idea in your head, you just don't listen."

She was right, Kaidan knew it but that didn't mean that he had to like it. "You'd been dead for two years, colonies were going missing and we thought Cerberus was behind it. Then you're standing in front of me, flanked by Cerberus personnel, with a Cerberus-flagged ship in orbit, telling me that you're not Cerberus. It made no sense then but I see it now, you got out as soon as you could and turned back to the Alliance. Can't imagine the Illusive Man being very happy about that."

"Oh, he wasn't, tried to hijack EDI a couple times or so Joker says," Johanna shrugged, "Guess he wanted his toys back, this toy had other ideas."

"He may have rebuilt you, I'm thankful he did, but you're no toy." Kaidan met her gaze with his, "So, uh, how do we move past Horizon? What we had was amazing, as brief as it was, I think it'd be shame to say never again, you know? I know I've said some awful things and I know that I didn't come see you while you were in Vancouver and I'm sorry for all of it, I am." Johanna couldn't believe it. James was right. "I know the ball's in your court but let me say this one thing - there's nobody special in my life right now and I still care, Johanna."

At least he hadn't called her Jo, that was something. "Kaidan, we can move past Horizon as friends, not more." Her eyes flitted from the top of his head, to the window, to the monitor screens, trying to find anywhere to settle her gaze. "Wow, this is awkward. After Horizon, I moved on. I figured that any man who truly loved me wouldn't just abandon me, I was hurt so I found some comfort. Jacob didn't stick around for long after I left the Illusive Bastard, though, his loss. But now? Now I have someone who warned me that this might happen and, for the record, I told him he was being stupid." She stood from her place at his beside. "And even though I can be a total bitch, oh, you know I'm right," she reacted to Kaidan's raised eyebrow, "He matches me blow for blow, has done since day one, he doesn't just bury his head in the sand."

"That's fair," Kaidan nodded, "I guess I deserved that. Friends it it, Shepard. I better get some rest. Next time, bring me some war stories, ok?"

"You got it," she smiled, "Get well, Kaidan, and for christ's sake, tell Udina you accept his offer." She was out of the door before he had a chance to reply. "Awkward," she whispered to herself on her way back toward the elevator. She had hoped that James might have waited for her but he was nowhere to be seen. Figures. She had basically told him where to go. While she waited for the elevator, she pulled up her omnitool.

_"You were right"_, she wrote,_ "he wanted more. Let him down. I'm sorry for being a bitch_." She sent her message on its way and made off back toward the Normandy, she was halfway there before she thought to send another.

_"Headed back to the Normandy, meet me in my cabin?"_

* * *

_A/N :: Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter posted, I practically lost my voice at the start of the week and haven't felt much like writing until today. Also, had a little confidence crisis but decided not to let it stop me. After asking last chapter, I've decided to write those one-shot chapters for James and Jo, I'll link them here when I start so you can keep up with them, too, if you want to. Also decided to write Jo's Cerberus story - it's too funny to cast aside. _

_As always, huge thanks to "Katschaba," "Zee," and "Aubrey1207," for reviewing the last chapter - you're all awesome!_


	10. Chapter 10 :: Violent Therapy

**Chapter 10**

**Violent Therapy**

* * *

It took James all of five minutes to storm his way back toward the Normandy, his mood seriously soured by his fight with Johanna. He barged through the crowds in the docking bay, not really paying attention to where he was walking or who he walked into. He punched the airlock button and stomped his way back onto the ship, not bothering to stop to greet Joker adpnd EDI like he normally would, he just made a beeline for the elevator. The quiet of the shuttle bay was exactly what he needed. Time alone with his thoughts and a punching bag. Even better, a punching bag which he could picture Kaidan's face on. That was exactly what he needed. He flexed and cracked his knuckles on the short trip down to the shuttle bay. It might not be the real thing and he supposed he'd never get the chance but this would do for now.

The elevator doors pinged open and he practically ran toward his workstation. "Bullshit." He hit the punch bag with a left hook, sending it swinging slightly. "Total," punch, "Fucking," another punch, "Bullshit." He punctuated each word with a punch. "Babysit me? I don't need babysitting. I take care of my own shit and I get shit done." He swung for the bag again and his fist connected with it with a satisfying thud. Whoever said that violence wasn't therapeutic clearly had no idea what they were talking about. It was working, he already felt less angry. A little bit. Maybe. He was right, though. He just knew it. Johanna wasn't the kind of woman that men like Kaidan could just walk away from without wanting a second chance. She was strong, funny, beautiful and independent, the kind of woman who wouldn't normally look twice at someone like Kaidan, especially after Mars. But she was visiting him all because he asked nicely? "Nah," another punch, "She's the one talking bullshit."

"Lieutenant Vega, is everything ok?" EDI's voice suddenly crackled over the shuttle bay comm link. "Your omnitool biometric readings show signs of distress. I thought it best to check with you before asking Jeff to."

"Yeah, EDI, I'm fine, just working a few things out." It still freaked him out that EDI could monitor the crew like that. He knew that it was just part of her programming, the job she was supposed to do but still, it didn't freak him out any less. "Has the Commander come back aboard yet?"

"No, she has not," EDI replied, "The locator on her omnitool shows that she is currently leaving Huerta Memorial Hospital."

"Do you know where she's heading?" James asked, finally calm enough to want to talk things through. If she had left the hospital, it meant one of two things. Either he was right and she was leaving to put some distance between herself and an awkward talk with her ex or he was wrong and she just wanted to get the hell away. Hopefully the latter, another fight wasn't on his agenda.

"I do not. I am unable the predict her movements after she leaves Huerta, the signal is a locator, a tracker, not a predictor. The Alliance installed it on her omnitool shortly after she was imprisoned." He really should have known - EDI was an AI, not an all seeing, all knowing crystal ball. "Shall I contact Shepard to ask where she plans on going next?"

"That's ok, EDI, thanks." James heard the familiar crackle of static as the AI closed the comm link followed by the ping from his omnitool. "Well, well," James grinned, "I was right."

* * *

"So I was right, huh?" James had taken his time in going to Shepard's cabin, she'd been the one to apologise so he figured he could make her wait a while. He sat beside Johanna on the sofa and grinned at her. "I'd say that I told you so but y'know, I spent a while beating the shit outta the punching bag in the shuttle bay, imagined his face on it the whole time. Feel pretty good right now."

"Yeah," Johanna sighed, "You were right." She could still feel the awkwardness of the conversation. "He asked how we move past Horizon, that there's nobody special in his life right now and that he still cares. I told him that we could move on as friends but as nothing more, I told him that I'd moved on. He seemed to take it well." She shrugged her shoulders, partly wishing that Kaidan had fought a little harder for her. "Don't let your ego run away with you, James," she threw him a smile, "I don't think he's lying in bed right now, crying his eyes out because I chose you over him."

"Aw shit, Lola," James laughed, "You had to go ruin it for me, didn't you?" It would've been quite the ego boost but he wasn't stupid, he knew that Kaidan was made of sterner stuff. He'd have to be, he'd been with Shepard after all. "Seriously, though? He just let you walk away? He didn't even try to convince you to choose him?" Had it been him in the Major's place, he would've fought tooth and nail for her. "I'm just saying, he didn't work very hard for it. I would've fought for you, I wouldn't have let you leave until I knew you were mine." A second's silence passed between them before he realised what he'd said. "Not that you belong to me or anything, you know what I mean."

"Well look at you," Johanna grinned and scooted close enough to capture his lips in a kiss, "I had no idea you were such a romantic, James." At least one of them would've fought for her, it was good to know. "I think I like this romantic side of you," another kiss, it wouldn't hurt to tease him a little bit, right? Where was the fun in always being well behaved? Not that Johanna was ever well behaved to start with. "Who knew you were such a big softie," she swung her legs over his so she could sit across his lap. "And you know what?" She grinned, knowing that what she was about to say would inflate his ego at least five sizes, "I think I like being yours."

"Hey, I can be romantic, like, really romantic, not just this soft stuff," James' fingers ghosted over her knee, "I'll show you. How long are we staying on the Citadel?"

"I figured we'll stick around another day. I have to speak to Aria, no doubt she'll want me to run some god-damn errand for her, better to get it done now." Johanna sighed again, hating that she'd have to spend even more time on the station. "I hope whatever she has up her sleeve will help, I hate spending time here. It's too fucking peaceful. Planets are burning and the people here are so fucking ignorant about it." She'd launched into her rant without even realising. "Sorry. Why do you wanna know how long we're sticking around here for."

"You'll see," James smirked, "Maybe I have a little something up my sleeve, too. Hopefully something more fun than whatever Aria has up hers, maybe a little less dirty." He nudged her playfully, "Or maybe more, you never know." He'd take her out - if she wanted to see how romantic he could be, he'd show her. "And as for the people here, I think I remember someone telling me that we'd be waiting with a huge fucking cup of I told you so when this shithole finally wakes up to smell the ashes. Hold onto that, I know I am."

"You planning to surprise me, James?" Johanna quirked an eyebrow, "I'll have the secret outta you by the end of the night." Her eyes twinkled with a mischief that would've been unheard of at the start of the day. "But ground rules, ok? Nothing involving me having to dance, I wanna be entertained, not be the entertainment. And nothing too fancy, I don't really do fancy. Last time I wore a dress, I shot the shit outta the place. If you ever meet Kasumi, ask her about Bekenstein."

"By the end of the night, huh?" His mind quickly ran through the less innocent implications of those words, it was second nature for James to look for the double meaning. "I'll bet I can have you outta something in the next ten minutes."

"Oh really?" Johanna stood from her place across her lap. "I hate to disappoint but I have to update Hackett on Kaidan and the cure, can't really put it off any longer or he'll put a boot up my ass." She leaned over to kiss James again, her lips lingering on his for a moment. "Rain check for an hour?"

"An hour. You got it." James stood with a grin and walked off toward the door, slapping Johanna's ass on the way past. "I'll be here. Don't be late." Maybe it was his turn to have the last word after all...

* * *

_A/N :: So sorry about the delay in this chapter, everyone. I had it written and good to go along with an interlude, but when I went to post it, it had been deleted somehow (wasn't too happy about that) so I had to start over and write the whole thing again. I think I managed to cover everything in the original draft but if I think of anything I've forgotten, I'll find a way to work it back into a later chapter._

_As always, thank you to "Zee," "Katschaba," "eboncat," and "Skylark16," for the reviews on the last chapter - your feedback is always, always appreciated, guys!_


	11. Interlude :: 2 AM

**Interlude - 2 A.M.**

* * *

Despite the fact that he'd been waking up there more often than not since he and Johanna had gotten together, James still found it strange to wake up in her cabin. For one, it was huge and he'd gotten used to living out of a locker next to a matchbox-sized sleeper pod in the crew quarters. Actually, his stuff was still down in that locker. They hadn't talked about him moving things in, hell, they hadn't had time to go on a real, honest to god, date yet, so they lived as far apart as any two people could on a frigate - her in the captain's cabin and him down in crew quarters. It was a hassle, though, having to drag his ass downstairs. He could shower in her cabin, after all, the privilege of being Commander afforded her her own private bathroom, but he still had to drag his ass downstairs for a change of clothes. Maybe one day he'd be able to call her cabin home, but for the moment, things would just continue to roll along as they were. Oh, and the skylight? Well, it made him feel like he was floating. Not the most comfortable feeling in the world to wake up to but with Johanna in his arms, he couldn't even complain.

It took him a second to find his bearings but when he did, he tightened his arm around her as she lay asleep and glanced at the nearest monitor for the time. The ship was well into the night cycle and, to his surprise, the shutters on the skylight were closed - the only light in the room coming from the fish tank. He shifted his weight, careful not to wake Johanna, and and smiled as he looked at her. She looked so peaceful when she slept, something she hadn't been doing enough of lately. During the day, she may be the one and only, galactically famous Commander Shepard, the woman who brokered alliances and who tried her damnedest to bring a reluctant galaxy together but at night? At night, in his arms and without all of her armour and weapons? She was just Johanna the woman, and a beautiful woman at that. Slowly, he untangled himself from her and reached over to pick his shirt off the floor. He needed a drink so a trip to the mess was in order. He stood, pulled his shirt on over his head, pulled on his pants and crossed to the door - hopefully she wouldn't wake while he was gone.

The mess was deserted, or so James thought, but then the only person who might even be awake at the hour was Joker. He always seemed to be awake. Oh, and EDI, but she was she damn ship so she didn't count. He pulled a bottle of water from the fridge and sat at the closest table. Would it be completely out of line for him to fix himself a little post-midnight snack? No? New plan! A swig from the bottle later and he was pulling some bacon from the fridge, too.

"Better make sure that's not the dextro crap," came a voice from behind him, making James jump, "I ain't cleaning up after you when you take the shits."

"Shit, man," James laughed, "You scared the shit outta me, thought I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar, y'know? Well, the fridge. Whatever. Feel like a snack?"

"Hell yeah," Joker sat down, a cup of coffee in his hand. "You come all the way down here just to eat? Figured Shepard had a whole lot of food just stashed away up there, it's more a palace than a fucking cabin, after all."

James froze for a second - how the hell did Joker know about his relationship with Johanna? Sure, he knew that Cortez knew about the two of them because he'd been the one to tell him. Oh, and they'd made out in the shuttle bay while he was working on the damn shuttle. So much for being discreet. He supposed Kaidan would know soon enough, either from Johanna telling him herself or through figuring it out whenever he got back to duty on the Normandy. But Joker?

"How the hell did you know about me and Jo..Shepard?" Damn it. He'd slipped up. It was too late to play dumb about it all now. Smart.

"Jo, huh? Wow. You got it bad. I've known her to beat the shit outta guys who've used her name," Joker laughed, "But you walk like you still have your balls so she must really like you." The pilot paused long enough to take a sip of his coffee. "And I know because EDI knows everything. Come on, man, you had to know that she has access to all the camera feeds on the ship." Joker laughed but quickly quieted when James spun around. "Except for the ones in Shepard's cabin, of course. She almost tore EDI a new one back when we first got this baby, the woman likes her privacy. Now I know why."

"So EDI saw us in the shuttle bay?" It was a stupid question, James knew it, but he had to ask anyway. "Please tell me you're the only other one who knows about that?"

"Well, not just the shuttle bay," Joker stood from his place at the table, "Remember the night when Garrus came aboard? The little get-together you all had in the lounge?" He finished his coffee and quickly rinsed out his mug, "That night that went for, nought to six hundred in about a nanosecond? She saw that, too. All the way from the lounge until you both disappeared past her cabin door. I can't believe you didn't know that she monitors the cameras in the public areas of the ship. She's an AI, not just a sexy robot decoration."

"I can hear you, you know, Jeff," came EDI's disembodied voice but Joker didn't even flinch.

"I know, I know," he stepped toward the elevator, "Just proving a point to Lieutenant Dumbass right here. If I were you, I'd drop the whole discreet thing and just own it, man. Shepard's hot." The elevator pinged, "I'd get back up there before she realises that you're gone." And just like that, Joker himself was gone and James had definitely lost his appetite.

No midnight snacks for him after all...

* * *

Johanna tossed and turned, her mind showing her images that she'd rather not see. A boy running through shadows, a forest on fire and the whispers. Oh boy, the whispers. People she had loved and lost, all of them whispering to her. Her mother and father who she'd lost all those years ago back on Mindoir and then Ashley who she had lost on Virmire - they all seemed to have a message for her. And then the boy from that building in Vancouver, he'd gotten out of the frying pan only to jump right into the fire, literally, when the shuttle he'd climbed onto had been blown out of the sky. She hadn't known him, though, he was the odd one out in all of these nightmares and he always died in the flames right before she woke.

Just like always, Johanna woke with a start, shooting bolt upright in bed. "Bullshit nightmares," she fought for a second to regain control of her breathing as her heart rate slowly began to return to normal. "Holy shit," she clutched the sheet to her chest, still not even noticing that James wasn't beside her. "Why do I keep having this same god-damn nightmare?" She sighed and turned so she was sitting on the edge of her mattress, her head falling forward into her hands. If the galaxy could see her now, they'd wonder why they were trusting their fate to a woman who couldn't even get a decent night's sleep thanks to some stupid, stupid dream. She raked her hands through her hair and then glanced at the monitor, the bright figures blinked two am. Too late for anyone apart from the skeleton night shift to be awake but far too early for her to head to the command deck.

"You awake, James?" She waited for his to answer but silence was the only answer she got. "James?" Johanna turned to look over her shoulder but James was nowhere to be seen. Where the hell had he gone? He'd been there when she'd fallen asleep, she'd taken some comfort in the fact that she could fall asleep in his arms but why had he just vanished in the middle of the night? "I don't snore that loudly, do I?" Shepard thought out loud, with nobody else there, she could talk to herself and totally get away with it. Hell, even EDI couldn't hear her in her cabin unless she specifically asked for her.

"EDI," Johanna called, suddenly remembering that EDI would know where she could find James. "Where's Vega?"

"Lieutenant Vega is in the mess, Commander. He has been there for fifteen minutes," EDI replied. Johanna frowned, he'd left her in bed to go sit in the mess? What the hell was that all about? She stood and then bent over to scoop her clothes from the floor.

"And what, exactly, is he doing down there?" She dressed quickly, trying not to let her growing bad mood get to her too much. It was too early to be in a foul mood.

"He is current talking to Jeff, Commander. They appear to be discussing relationships." Johanna couldn't help but laugh. Talking about relationships with Joker? They only relationship the man had was with his extranet account, it was the only thing, besides the ship, that he ever spent any meaningful time with. From what she'd heard, he had quite the collection of vids; as Commander, she could access his files if she wanted to but she never had, too afraid of the weird shit she might come across in there. Some things were better off left unseen.

"Thank you, EDI," Johanna thanked the AI as she entered the elevator, making the very short trip down toward the mess. When she stepped off onto the crew deck, she noted that the place was deserted but why would it be busy so early in the morning? Everyone sane would be asleep, she definitely wished that she was. Preferably with James. And she would be before very long if she could get him to go back upstairs.

"James, you still down here?" She called as she rounded the corner toward the medbay and and there he was, just standing and putting what looked like bacon back into the fridge. "Bit late for a snack, is it not? It's two in the morning."

"Shit, Lola," James jumped, not for the first time since he'd ventured down to get some water. "Don't sneak up on a guy like that. What brings you down here?"

"I could ask you the same question," she crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned her hip against the kitchen countertop, "But I asked EDI instead and she said something about you talking about relationships with Joker. You do know he's useless with real relationship advice, right? I mean, sure, ask him about the best extranet sites for kinky shit and he's your guy but for anything else? You'd be better off asking that bacon."

"I wasn't asking advice," James tossed the bacon back into the fridge and threw it closed with a little too much force, the whole things wobbled where it stood. "He knows about us, y'know, he knew about the shuttle bay and he knew about what happened after the poker night. Apparently EDI has access to all the camera feeds in this place, all the public ones at least."

"I could've told you that," Johanna shrugged, it wasn't a big deal to her but, then again, she'd had a longer time to get used to the fact that the public areas of the ships were under surveillance. "I could also tell you that EDI used to send the feeds back to the Illusive Bastard so he could keep tabs on his most expensive toy. I could tell you that the crew quarters and my cabin are all completely private. I like my privacy."

"Yeah, Joker said something about that," James stepped toward her, his hands finding their place on her hips, "He also said that we should drop this bullshit discreet act and just own the fact that we're together. I think I like that idea. Especially since EDI knows." he paused. "And Cortez and Joker. Hell, I only came down here for some water"

"And Liara," Johanna threw in, sure that Liara would have figured it out by now, she _was_ the Shadow Broker after all, information was her business. "I mean, I haven't told her or anything but she's the Broker. She knows everything about everyone. In the morning, she'll know that you came down here for water and she'll know that I came down here to look for you because I couldn't sleep." She frowned again, "Bullshit nightmares."

Just like that, James burst out of his little bubble of thought and was inwardly kicking himself. He knew about the nightmares, ironically, she had told him about them in the damn shuttle bay. "They're back?" She nodded and he reached for her hand, pulling her back toward the elevator. "You need to sleep, Lola, you ain't gonna be any use to anyone if you're so tired that you start screwing your head on ass backwards." It was another very short trip back to her cabin.

"Just promise me one thing, James," Johanna thought back to that last nightmare, a moment of vulnerability, albeit a private one. Surprisingly enough, she didn't mind showing him her more vulnerable side. It took her a while to get to that stage with Kaidan but with James, she didn't know what it was, she just found it so easy to trust in him.

"Anything," he pulled her back into her cabin and sat on the edge of the bed.

"When I wake up next, promise me you'll still be here," she fixed him with a searching gaze, hoping to find that he wasn't about to up and leave because she actually, maybe kind of needed him.

"Always," he smiled and lay back, pulling her in close, "Now sleep."

Always ... now that date he had up his sleeve really had to impress.

* * *

_A/N :: This was the interlude I lost along with the last chapter so this one had to be done over from scratch. I actually think that I like this version of it better. Speaking of these interludes, I've decided to post the here as part of the main story rather than having them set aside as separate, non-sequential one shots. Instead, they fit in quite nicely over here as little breaks from the main plot and I like to think that they'll help show more of Johanna and James, both together and apart!_

_As always, thank you to "Skylark16," "Katschaba," and "Zee," for the reviews on the last chapter. You guys are great!_


	12. Chapter 12 :: Date Night

**Chapter 12**

**Date Night**

* * *

To say that Johanna's day had been eventful was something of an understatement. She'd taken the time to speak with Aria at Purgatory and spent the rest of the morning running around trying to unite three of the galaxy's most notorious mercenary groups under Aria's banner. A charade involving a dead Batarian and his Vorcha successor, a Turian General and Jona Sideris, the psychotic leader of the Eclipse group. A colourful bunch! To unite them all under Aria's control, she'd had to do a little song and dance for each of them and with the job done, she was sure that she'd be keeping an eye on Sideris, the Eclipse leader, she'd warned that heads would roll after her release from prison. As soon as she stepped as little as a toe out of line, she'd find her own head rolling by Johanna's own hand. She hated mercenaries, they had no loyalty to anything except for their next pay check and even then, it was questionable. Helping Aria was a must, though, they could help each other. Aria could hold up her end of the bargain later, after she'd smacked Omega far beyond the Illusive Man's dirty, dirty grasp.

Her afternoon had been better, marginally. Johanna wasn't a girly sort of girl, she never had been and she was pretty sure that she never would be. Sure, she wore make up but she wasn't caked in it like some of the women she saw strutting around the station and as for dresses - forget it. She was a soldier, a marine, not a Barbie doll on display for everyone to look at. Even so, she'd spent the afternoon shopping with Liara. She wanted to at least make an effort to look nice when she met James, he seemed to have put some effort into planning the whole thing so she wanted to keep her end of the deal. Dates, though. Wow. As many things as she had done in her life; surviving Mindoir, surviving the blitz on Elysium, taking down Sovereign and the Collectors - a successful date wasn't even close to being on that list.

"Nothing too out there, Liara," Johanna offered as Liara wandered toward the dress section of the shop they were currently browsing, "No dresses, how many times do I need to remind you? I'm not a dress person."

"It can't hurt to look," Liara smiled, "You never know, you might find one you like."

"Trust me, I won't," Johanna pulled one of the dresses from the rail. "I mean, this one is pretty, it really is, but I just can't see myself wearing it." She held it up against her front and looked down at it. "It's not really first date material, is it?" Surprisingly, she quite liked it but no, she still wouldn't buy it. Why buy something you might only wear once? And even then it was a major maybe. "No," she hung it back on the rail, "No dresses. What's wrong with finding a nice pair of pants and shirt? It's more me than showing half my leg and beside, dresses are over-rated."

"There's nothing wrong with showing off your assets, Shepard," Liara answered patiently, turning her attention from the dress rail, "But you're right, it's not first date material. When the time comes for that dress, though, I'm bringing you back here, you can count on that." Truth be told, Liara was a tad jealous of James' relationship with Shepard - she had always been fascinated by the Commander and that fascination had led to more than a few embarrassing moments during their time back on the original Normandy. "I don't think this is really the pants and a shirt kind of place. How about we go get lunch and then sort you out with an outfit?"

"My _assets_ would look just fine in pants, thank you very much," Johanna grinned back at her friend, "If Aria can pull it off, so can I." The offer of food was welcomed, she had no idea what James had in store but in case dinner wasn't part of the plan, a light lunch couldn't hurt. "Apollo's?" She was on her way to the door before Liara even had a chance to answer.

* * *

"Well well, Mr. Vega, what's this?" After he stepped out of the elevator, Cortez spent a moment watching James, he had been so wrapped up in everything other than his duties for hours. "Spending your day fussing over a woman? Never thought I'd see the day."

"Not just any woman, Esteban," James grinned, "My woman." He couldn't stop grinning, really. Maybe she'd just said it to appeal to his ego but it didn't matter. She liked being his and she liked it enough to depend on him when she'd needed someone. "I said I'd take her out while we were still on the Citadel and since we're leaving tomorrow, well, tonight's the night."

Cortez wandered over to James' workbench. "Never thought I'd see you so worked up over a date," he laughed, "But it's good to see. You're all grown up!" Normally James was the one doing all the teasing and so Cortez would enjoy getting a little revenge. "So what's it gonna be? Dinner and a movie, a walk around the presidium, making out in the airlock? Gonna be a gentleman and walk the Commander home, soldier?"

"Shut up," James threw back jokingly, "I have no fucking idea where I'm gonna take her, man. There ain't much shit to do on this damn station. If we were back home? No problem at all but here? Damn, no idea." Hell, he didn't even know what to wear. One of his more girly concerns but still a concern nonetheless. "I thought about taking her to the Armax combat sim but hell, she does that shit every day so where's the fun in that? Then I thought about a movie but the only one with decent showing time was that Blasto hunk o' junk and since Lola's a real Spectre, that's not really her kind of movie."

"Wow, not only fussing but fretting, too. Just like the rest of us mere mortals." Cortez smiled, "I'd ask what you've done with The James Vega I know but I think I like this version of you better."

"Fuck off, Esteban," James turned his attention to his omnitool, "Are you gonna help me or what?"

"There he is!" Cortez clapped James on the back and looked over at his omnitool. "Okay, so how about you take her to do something she doesn't get to do a lot of here. Something she likes." He thought about it for a second or two. "She's always clearing you out at the poker table, you could always take her to one of the casinos? I hear the one on the Silversun Strip is quite good."

"You're a genius, man!" James walked off toward the elevator, punching a message into the omnitool. Maybe he'd pull this whole thing off after all. Now all he had to do was decide what to wear. Nothing dressy but nothing too casual. "Man, I really am a girl," he muttered to himself, "Man the fuck up."

* * *

As Shepard wandered toward James, the station had just begun its night cycle. She let her eyes wander a path downward, "I can see why you wanted to meet here. The view is pretty damn hot."

He spun around at the sound of her voice, momentarily stunned by the sight of her in clothes which weren't Alliance standard issue. "I think I have the better view here, Lola." One step and was next to her, pulling her into a lingering kiss. "You look amazing," his hands dropped to her hips and he momentarily forgot all about his plans. "We could just forget about all of this y'know..." He trailed off as he pulled her in for another kiss, "Back to the Normandy?"

"Nuh uh," Johanna pushed him back gently, "I shopped for this, I bought a new outfit and I had to listen to Liara trying to talk me into a dress all damn day so no, no getting out of this." Eventually, she had talked Liara into thinking that a pair of figure hugging jeans would be a good idea but she'd had to agree to wear heeled boots with them to get her off her back. "No matter how much I wanna find out what you're thinking about right now." It was tempting but she wanted to spend some time away from the Normandy on something other than a mission and she couldn't think of a better way to spend some time than with him. "So where are we going?"

"Well," James reached for her hand and linked their fingers together, "I thought we could get away from the war for a bit, spend the night like everybody else on this damn station, be completely unaware." They walked together through the presidium, off toward the cabs. "So I thought we could try our luck at the arcade or the casino," he glanced over at her, trying to gauge her reaction, "Then after you've cleared everyone out, grab something to eat, go for a walk through one of those presidium parks. What do you think?" They stopped just outside of the transit hub, "I mean, if you wanna do something else, we can. Just a few ideas."

"Sounds perfect," Johanna grinned, "I thought you were gonna suggest that we went to see that god fucking awful Blasto movie for a second there, relieving some poor, unsuspecting soul of his money sounds like fun. It'll be good to just let go of the war for a while."

And it was. Living life on the other side of the war was interesting. People really were oblivious to the dangers lurking right on their collective doorstep. They'd only accept it when it bludgeoned them right over the head with a Reaper laser. But to spend some time with the people on the other side of it all, was fun. Johanna actually found herself forgetting about what she'd have to do the next day while she and James won themselves a small fortune playing roulette and blackjack. She drank champagne and didn't even complain when, a few hours after they'd arrived, James told some random sleaze to back the hell away from her. Instead of tearing the guy a new one on her own, she just smiled sweetly and waved as he walked off.

They left shortly afterward, hand in hand and with Johanna in fits of laughter. As they walked off back toward the transit hub, she noticed that the station was deep into its night cycle. "I still can't believe the look on that guy's face," she really couldn't stop laughing, "He looked terrified, he must've thought you were gonna punch his head right off his shoulders."

"And if he hadn't stopped trying to grab your ass, I would've," James shook his head, "But getting thrown out of a place on the first date? That's a little hardcore, even for me."

"I guess I finally found the perfect pants," Johanna joked, barely aware that James' hand was drifting south until it found her ass. "I'm guessing it's a little late for that walk, it has to be midnight, surely,"

"You have," James whispered into her ear, "They definitely do your ass a huge amount of justice. You're hot anyway, even in armour, but damn, Lola. Tonight, you're a whole other level of hot." It took every ounce of his self control not to act on his thoughts, thoughts involving secluded, dark corners. No. It wasn't the time. Back on the Normandy, maybe, but definitely not in dark corners.

They waited for a sky cab and before long, they found themselves stepping through the Normandy's airlock and onto the ship. They still walked hand in hand, oblivious to the heads turning their way. Joker noted their return with a smirk, it looked like Vega had heeded his advice to own the fact that he and Shepard were together. Finally, someone had listened to him. "About damn time," he whispered, "Best pilot in the galaxy and relationship guru, apparently. Awesome!"

The elevator pinged when it reached Johanna's cabin and the pair spilled out, tangled in each other's arms and locked in a hungry kiss. Her back connected with the wall beside her door and she tried, half-heatedly, to push James back. "Wait," she gasped, really not wanting to stop but willing herself to reign it all in, "Wait." The look on James' face was a picture, like a lost puppy. "Not tonight," she shook her head, determined to see it through.

James took a step back, wondering what he'd done to change her mind. "Ok, you're gonna have to explain this one to me, Lola. What the hell?"

"You should know by now, soldier," Johanna smirked, "That a lady doesn't put out on the first date.". The urge to laugh was almost too much but she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from it. "Thank you for an awesome night," she kissed him one more time and kicked herself again, "It was nice spending some time away from everything with you." She opened the door to her cabin but stopped at the threshold, "Come wake me in the morning?"

James nodded as she stepped into the cabin and the door whooshed closed behind her. "Don't put out on the first date," he muttered as he made the short trip back to the crew quarters. He knew she only did it to tease him (and probably because she was slightly crazy), and he could see the funny side of it, for sure, but it still made no sense. "But no problem before the first date." A plan suddenly hatched in his mind. Revenge. Revenge of a kind, at least. Morning couldn't roll around fast enough...

* * *

_A/N :: So sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out, medical matters took over but things are beginning to settle now so normal service has resumed! I have another interlude in the works and the next chapter after that all planned out so here's to more James and Johanna!_

_As always, thank you to "eboncat" (you can bet that James will try to dodge EDI's monitoring soon!), "Skylark16," "Katschaba" (Joker definitely would've updated his video collection if he had vids from Johanna's cabin!", and "Zee," for the reviews - you are all awesome and the feedback is so appreciated._


	13. Chapter 13 :: A Dish Best Served Hot

**Chapter 13**

**A Dish Best Served Hot...**

* * *

As James' omnitool pinged to waken him, he sighed heavily as he fumbled to silence the noise. He hadn't had a lot to drink the night before so the clouds in his head weren't alcohol-related but he was definitely foggy on a few details. "Damn," he whispered hoarsely, "What a night." Sure, he may have woken up alone in the cramped crew quarters but it had still been a good night ... right up to the last five minutes. Had she really sent him on his way when only seconds before, she'd been more than a little into him? The memory hit him as he swung his legs out of bed - he'd hatched a plan for revenge as he'd tumbled into bed the night before and as much as it would suck, he'd give Johanna a taste of her own medicine, fight fire with fire. All he had to do was wake her first.

It had become one of their things. On the nights he didn't spend with her up in her cabin, he'd wake her with breakfast and a dose of his irresistible charm. This would be one such morning where the breakfast would be simpler than usual and that dose of charm would be double. After he showered, it took James only five minutes to dress and wander out into the mess. As always, at the start of the morning shift, it was buzzing with activity, ground crew and support staff milled around, all seemingly with one goal in mind. Coffee. He was no different. Grabbing two cups and two of the Alliance standard issue protein bars, he made for the elevator. This would be fun. Wasn't revenge always fun?

At the door to her cabin, he paused for a moment and smirked. Had he really thought that this would be fun? "Don't be a dumbass, Vega," he muttered to himself, "This is gonna suck so much, it's gonna invent its very own scale." He set the two cups of coffee down on the floor as he pressed his hand to the security lock on her door, only to blink at it when it turned red. "What the hell?" Swapping the protein bars from his right hand to his left, he pressed the other hand to the panel, just to see it blinking red again. "EDI," his voice hinted at frustration but mostly, he was confused, "This damn door has always let me in before, what the hell is going on?"

"One moment, Lieutenant," EDI's voice filtered through the speakers in the small hallway and a moment later, he could've sworn that he heard movement from inside the room. Had she locked him out? Seriously? Surely she hadn't had that bad of a time the night before. Or maybe, just maybe, she felt bad for sending him packing back to the crew quarters. Sure, he was appealing to his own ego but a man could only hope, right?

"There you are," Johanna's voice startled him from his thoughts. "I locked the door while I was showering. I forgot I'd told you to come wake me." She stepped aside to let him in, grinning as he paused to pick up their breakfast. "I'll have EDI change the security on this thing so you can get in next time."

"Yeah," James sat the coffee down onto her desk, "Thought you'd locked me out for a second there." He turned to her with a smirk, "Then I thought that maybe, just maybe, you felt a little bad about being a major tease last night." Of course he was kidding with her, but it couldn't hurt to tease her a little. She'd had her fun the night before, after all, hadn't she?

"Hey," Johanna lifted her coffee and her protein bar and quickly crossed the room to the couch, "I only said that a lady didn't put out on the first date. I don't remember saying anything about the morning after the first date." She sipped from the cup and took a seat. "We have some time before we arrive at Tuchanka, we may as well make the most of it."

James could only blink at her for a second as his mind - it had all been one great big tease after all. Now he really had to get her back. "I like how you think, Lola," his own coffee was forgotten about as he followed her lead and took a seat close by her on the couch, "Never know what we might find down there, trying to cure the damn Genophage and all, gotta make every moment count."

"You going all soft on me again?" Johanna smiled, he was just so easy to tease, left himself wide open every damn time. Fast losing interest in her breakfast, she ditched the coffee cup and, looping her fingers into the chain on James' dog tags, pulled him into a kiss. It had been torture for her to send him away but if things had been normal, if theyd been dating during peace time, even if they'd been on Earth - she wouldn't have slept with him on the first date. It was her way of bringing some normality back to the whole thing. Pulling away, she smiled at him. "I missed that last night," she grinned and kissed him again, the chain of his tags still looped through her fingers, "I missed _you_ last night. I think I've gotten used to having you here." She leaned forward to pepper kisses along his jawline, pausing for a moment to nip at his earlobe. "Damn, now I'm the one who's going soft." Her lips trailed lower and she moved to straddle his lap, eager to make up for making him sleep down in the crew quarters. "You're right," Johanna smirked as she felt his hands fall to her hips and she let her own paw at his shirt before she pulled it up over his head, "We should make every moment count."

It was hard for James to concentrate on anything other than the things her lips were doing to him. Sure, this was exactly what he'd wanted, just not at that moment. She enjoyed teasing him, he knew that now, and he couldn't let her keep that upper hand. Now he had to show her that he could give as good as he got and he figured that if she could dish it out, she'd be able to take it back. Even so, there was a nagging little voice in his head telling him that it could wait for a day, maybe even a week. No. Better now and then their little teasing game would be over. In the second it took him to pull away from her, he mentally kicked himself for what he was about to do. It was so hard to focus when all he wanted was to take her right there. "So I was thinking," he paused to clear this throat, trying to forget the feeling of her lips trailing kisses across his chest. "We did the date thing, we dressed up and went out but I don't know you any better now than I did yesterday. Isn't that the whole point of dates?"

"Seriously?" Johanna quirked an eyebrow as she pulled her own shirt off, "That's what you're thinking about right now? Getting to know me better?" She leaned in to kiss him again but instead of finding his lips with hers, she found his cheek. "What the hell?" Had he actually gone insane? She was sitting there practically throwing herself at him and he was thinking about getting to know her better. "I'm sitting here in your lap, shirtless, and you're thinking about getting to know me better?" Confusion clouded her mind and for a second, she wondered what she'd done wrong before coming to a conclusion that, actually, he must be insane. "Who are you and what have you done with my James?"

"I'm serious," James bluffed, glad to be able to use those skills for something other than poker, "We've known each other for how long now? Months. And now we're us and all I know is what I read in your personnel file and the stuff from the vids although in sure that most of the vid stuff is bullshit, vids usually are." Maybe, in another life he'd had a career as an actor, he thought he'd pulled that off pretty well. "And I wanna know, Lola. So we are gonna sit here and we're gonna have this talk. No protests."

"The stuff in the vids isn't the only bullshit 'round here," Johanna pulled her shirt back over her head with the smallest hint of a pout. "What the hell, James?" She felt crazy. Was she crazy? Was she about to wake up from this weird dream? "If you've read my file, you already know all the important shit. What else could you possibly want to know?" She was well aware that she was throwing a mini bitch fit, she didn't care. He already knew she was a little crazy and if he could accept that, he could accept a tiny bitch fit. Standing from her place across his lap, she stepped away from him and sat on the edge of the bed. "Fine. Here's the quick fire version: I'm Johanna, hi, I'm a career Marine, I was born and grew up on Mindoir so that makes me a colony brat and yes, I lost my family when the slavers raided so I'm the only one left. I survived the blitz on Elysium, killed more than my fair share of Batarians that day, call it getting my own back for what happened back home. Won my Star of Terra for it." She paused for breath, "Sovereign, Collectors and now Reapers. Done." Smiling, she crossed her arms across her chest in defiance. "Oh yeah, and I died. Can we go back to normalville now? To making moments count? What happened to that? And if we're not going there right now, can you at least put your damn shirt back on? Those pecs are distracting me."

Perfect. James could almost she the wheels turning in her head - she was in the palm of his hand. Of course he already knew all of that, he'd read her file pretty thoroughly, after all, he'd had to. Anderson hadn't wanted anything to come as a surprise to him while he'd been stationed as her guard, her file had been his homework. "I'm comfortable, the shirt can wait," he made no effort to lift his shirt from where it lay on the floor. "What's wrong? You look like a bomb just went off in your head."

"I'm so confused," Johanna spoke before her brain was fully in gear. She still hasn't had a full cup of coffee, she'd have to fix herself another when she finally made for the CIC to start her shift. "What the fuck just happened here?" Better to figure it out now than have it bother her all day. "I mean, shit, shirtless. You. Me, too. Now this! Talking about shit that you already know because you read my god damn file." From bitch fit to sheer crazy in what felt like two seconds flat. "You're gonna have to explain this one to me because I'm drawing blanks. What the hell just happened here?"

This time James couldn't help but laugh - her face was a classic. Confusion was etched across every inch of her face and she still just couldn't figure it out. "Y'know, I thought doing this was gonna suck but y'know what? The look on your face right now makes it all worth it." He picked his shirt up off the floor and pulled it back over his head. In a step, he was beside her, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. "I gotta go, have to be down in the shuttle bay, promised Esteban that I'd help him fix something or other. Didn't catch what it was but whatever, we'll get shit done." Seconds later and he was at the door. "But hey," he turned around briefly, still laughing, "Now you know how I felt last night. See you tonight, Lola."

Stunned into silence, Johanna let everything sink in for a second. "Asshole," She cursed under her breath as the door whooshed closed behind him as he left - he'd taken her on at her own game and damn if he hadn't won. "Total asshole. What the shit?" Now they were even, they could get on with things. "And of course I'm late," she jogged off toward the elevator, "He'll pay for that later."

* * *

_A/N :: Next up - the next interlude, hopefully! Unless I change my mind again, I'm good at that._

_As always, thank you to "KoteDiM," "Katschaba," (Agreed! Thinking of Joker as a relationship guru is hilarious!) "Miss Sara Diane," "Skylark16," and "Zee," for your reviews! Your feedback is always so appreciated. :)_


	14. Interlude :: Stuck

**Interlude - Stuck**

* * *

Tuchanka. God, was it a mess. A chunk of rock, all but destroyed by the Krogan nuclear war. How the Krogan still managed to survive there, Johanna would never know but they had endured, mostly underground but even so, they survived. Beside the Krogan and the Threshers, though, she doubted the planet's ability to sustain other life forms, it truly was a mess. Although not visiting for the first time, the state of destruction which greeted her wherever she had the misfortune of landing still struck her as much as it did that first time. Those were fonder memories from what was, arguably, an easier time, too. Compared to the Reapers, the Collectors cut a pitiful enemy and that mission was a cakewalk compared the one she headed now. By the end of their mission, Johanna was glad to be off planet and heading back toward the Normandy. No amount of showering would wipe the memories of that damn bomb from her memory.

As the shuttle door lifted, she stepped out and pulled her helmet off. "Hell," she shook her head as she dumped the helmet onto her armour bench, "That place really is a grade A shit hole." Her fingers fumbled with the clasps of her chest plate, it always stuck, she really needed to have that looked at. "It shouldn't surprise me, I've been right to the heart of that shit hole in the past but still," she still fumbled with the clasp, "It always amazes me, they really destroyed the place and what the fuck is wrong with this damn chest plate."

"Here, let me get it," James stepped toward her and gently pushed her hand away from the clasp. "You've been to Tuchanka before? You gotta tell me more about that, Lola."

"What? Oh, thanks," Johanna grinned as he began tugging at the clasp. "It's stuck good, it always does that. This is why I hate new armour. The old stuff was just as good, just as strong but no, can't have the old stuff, gotta have this shitty new stuff because it's better, stronger. Bullshit. It's all sticky clasps and shoulder pieces that pinch at the worst moments." She was off into a rant but she caught herself before she fell headlong into finding fault with every single piece of her armour. "Tell you more about what?"

"Tuchanka," James repeated, his eyes fixed on the jammed clasp, "You said you'd been there before, I wanted to hear more." Sure, he'd heard of her adventures the same way as every other Alliance soldier - through the news vids and the extranet but he knew that reports were full of bullshit at the best of times, the only way to hear the truth was straight from the horse's mouth. "I saw the vids but they were all sure you were Cerberus, shows how wrong they were. I should've asked you about all of it while we were stuck in Vancouver but better late than never, no? And this thing," he slapped his hand against her chest plate, "Ain't going anywhere until the rest of it's unhooked, it's jammed in there."

"Watch it," Johanna laughed as she stumbled, the force of his slap to her armour taking her just a little off guard, "Anybody'd think you were trying to send me flying." She winked at him and moved aside to unclip her shoulder guards from their place. "We came to Tuchanka for two missions. The first to find out what was wrong with Grunt and the second, to find Mordin's assistant." The clips for the shoulder guards gave way and she dumped them down alongside her helmet. "Grunt had to do this whole rite of passage thing, we met some of Tuchanka's critters, nightmare, and we had to fight a Thresher. Total fucking nightmare." She paused long enough to reach for the clips holding her greaves to her legs, "Killed the fucker, though. First since Wrex to do it. Oh, and I head-butted one of the clan reps, Grunt wasn't the only one in demand that day, if you know what I mean."

James watched as she slowly worked her way out of her armour, he'd quickly discarded his own after stepping off the shuttle. "You killed a Thresher? On foot?" He couldn't quite believe it. "Damn, Lola," he whistled, "That's badass." He watched as she dropped her greaves onto her armour bench and then made quick work of the upper leg guards and the arm pieces. Apart from that god damned chest plate, she was stood in her under-armour, a figure hugging suit of webbed material. He would've likened it to the chain mail of the olden days but it was much, much more hi-tech than that. Far stronger, too. "You make that under-suit look good, Lola," he grinned, well aware of the fact that what she wore beneath it left very little to the imagination. He should know, he'd been the one to zip her into the thing before they'd suited up for the mission but he also knew that until that chest plate budged, that imagination of his would be working overtime.

"Hey," she caught the mischievous glint in his eye, "Let's focus on getting me out of this damn hard suit first and then we can worry about what's under it, huh? What's keeping you? You're not normally this slow when it comes to getting me out of my clothes." Johanna spoke quietly so only he would hear her, she wasn't interested in teasing him in public when he was trying to help her. "Maybe Anderson's right," she sighed, "Maybe I've gotten a little soft around the edges and that's the reason why this fucking thing won't budge. Who would've thought it, huh? Commander Fucking Shepard, too fat for her damned armour." With a shrug of her shoulders, she tugged at the clasp herself, willing it to release but no such luck. "Damnit," she balled her fist and punched her side over the clasp, "You're not supposed to fucking stick like this, you piece of shit." Great. Now she was talking to the damn thing. "Do you think biotics would work on it?"

"You know it's not gonna answer you, right?" James laughed as she spoke to her suit, "Let me know if it answers you, I'll make a call for the men in white coats." He hadn't considered using biotics to open the damn thing but the more he thought about, it more he thought that it was a bad idea. Obviously, he wasn't biotic himself but even so, he wouldn't be going all in on her idea. "It'd take a really, really precise blast to sheer the clasp off," He thought out loud, "And you obviously wouldn't be able to do it yourself."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Johanna sighed, "And Javik's head is too far up his own ass to help us mere primitives. I'll bet the super duper Protheans never got stuck in their chest plates, that was probably punishable by death in the Empire." Se couldn't help but have a little fun at the Prothean's expense. Sure, he'd had a major shock but did he really have act so superior all the time? Truth be told, she thought that the last voice of the Protheans was a bit of a douche. "Liara's busy being the broker although she'd be down here in a heartbeat if we asked her."

"Yeah," James tugged at the clasp again and felt it give a little but it still clung on, refusing to spring free. "Holy shit, this thing really is wedged right on in there." Falling silent, he tried to think of a way to pull it free so they could both finally go shower, his patience with her armour was finally beginning to wear thin. "You know," he started, "There's another way to think of this. I don't think that you've gotten soft around the edges, I like your edges exactly the way they are but it wasn't the greaves or the arms or the abdominal plating that jammed, right? It was the chest plate."

If he had a point, Johanna wasn't seeing it. "Yeah, I know that," she quirked an eyebrow, "I'm the one still standing in the god damned shuttle bay a full half hour after a mission because her armour refuses to give way." What the hell was he trying to say? "What are you trying to say?"

"You can be so dense at times, Lola," James shook his head as he laughed, as though his point was as obvious as writing on a wall, "I'm saying that you have a great rack. So great, in fact, that it has you stuck in this fucking chest plate."

"So you're saying that I'm not too fat to fit into this piece of shit hard suit," she knew that she shouldn't bad-mouth her armour, it had saved her life time and time again since they'd left Earth but it was hard to stay patient when all she wanted was a shower. Plus, she still had to tell the Primarch that his son was dead - that wouldn't be a pleasant conversation - but she had to shower first. She wouldn't be addressing the head of Turian society while she wore Tuchanka's dust. "You're saying that I'm stuck in this thing because my rack is too big?"

"I'm saying that you're stuck in that thing because your rack is perfect," James corrected her, "Wouldn't change it for the world, Lola." He grinned as his fingers curled around the clasp one last time and gave it a full-on tug. To his surprise, it sprang free and her chest plate fell to the floor. "Bingo!" He laughed, "About time, you piece of shit." A well aimed kick from his left foot sent the last piece of her armour sliding across the shuttle bay floor until it met the bulkhead with a clang.

"Finally. First chance I get, I'm requisitioning new armour. Some of the good stuff, none of this standard issue shit." Johanna stretched her arms out and pulled James into a kiss. "Thank you for helping me," she smiled as she felt his fingers tugging on the zip on her under-suit, "Maybe that should wait until we're upstairs, hm? Cortez will be back down soon and I don't think I wanna give him a show to walk in on." Walking backward and away from him, she punched the button for the elevator. "Think you can manage that, soldier?"

"I think I can wait until we get into that elevator," James winked at her, "After that, No promises. I'm impatient, you should know that by now." As he heard the ping, he took a second to throw a glance at the doors, nobody was there, thank God, so he took her hand and pulled her back toward him. Once his back his the back wall of the elevator, he spun her around and held her close, her back flush against his chest as she reached out to press the button for her floor.

"EDI," Johanna called to the air as James tugged on her zipper again, shivering as the cooler air hit her back, "Make sure nobody gets onto this elevator between here and my cabin. Nobody. Keep those damn doors locked and if anybody asks you what's going on, tell them there's a temporary glitch in the system but you're tasked to capacity or some shit like that." James slipped his hands inside the suit and wrapped his arms around her waist, "Just tell them you'll get to it when you can, whatever."

"Yes, Commander," came EDI's disembodied reply but Johanna was mind was elsewhere. As long as those doors didn't open, she didn't have a problem, she didn't care what else was going on on the ship, didn't care who was where or what they were doing with who; all she cared about was the man in the elevator with her.

"I thought we were taking a shower, not christening the elevator," she sighed as he peppered kisses down her neck, "I don't feel sexy right now, you know. I'm covered in Tuchanka and it was pretty hard going out there. What's under this suit ain't pretty. In fact, I'm pretty sure I stink right now." She wanted to protest, she really did, but everything she said felt half-assed. "You can wait that long, right?"

"Aw come on, Lola," James mumbled against the soft skin of her neck, "What's the fun of a shower if you can't get a little dirty first?" He didn't care that she felt like she wore Tuchanka, or that she was sweaty or that her hair was a little disheveled - he wanted her, that was the bottom line. "I don't care about all of that," he swapped their places and led her into her cabin, "In fact, you've never looked more beautiful to me." Smiling, he reached around and unzipped his own suit before pushing it down to his waist. "So what do you say, Lola? Feel like getting a little dirtier?"

He had a point. Where was the fun? Grinning, she gripped the neckline of her suit and slowly slid it down over her shoulders and down to her waist. "I hope you know that this can't happen after every mission, I have briefings and meetings to do," she hated to burst his bubble but it had to be done. "We have our nights but for missions where your girlfriend's stupid rack gets her stuck in her armour," Johanna shimmied the rest of the way out of her suit and kicked it aside as she stepped into the bathroom, "I'll make an exception." It only took seconds for the water to warm up after she turned it on, "So get your fine ass in here before I change my mind."

James couldn't get his suit off quick enough. "Don't have to tell me twice, Lola..."

* * *

_A/N :: Apologies for the delay in getting this chapter done - I've struggled a bit with this one thanks to a variety of different factors, none of which are particularly interesting! But not to worry, I have a couple of ideas good to go for the next few chapters here and I've also started writing Johanna's Cerberus story ... I'll have a link in here somewhere whenever I get around to finally getting it online._

_As always, thank you for the reviews:_

_"heroofcanton" - thank you so much! Their depictions are the parts I stress about most so I'm glad to hear that you enjoy them. :)_

_"Katschaba" - It's not an endless cycle of teasing, as I hope this interlude suggests!_

_"Skylark16" - I think everyone needs a shirtless James in their life, haha!_

_"Zee" - As playful as the two of them are, I thought it fit pretty well with him. He's a prankster ... watch out for more of that side of him!_


	15. Chapter 15 :: Death and All His Friends

**Chapter 15**

**Death and All His Friends**

* * *

Angry. If she had to choose a word to describe exactly how she felt, Johanna would've chosen that one. She'd thought that completing the mission and proving the Dalatrass wrong would ease that feeling but she'd been wrong. Oh, how she'd been wrong. Sat in the mess with her head in her hands, her hair still wet from the long shower she'd taken, Johanna was silent. She was aware of movement around her, crew members heading toward their quarters as the shifts changed, but she was in a world of her own. Losing people never got any easier and Mordin had been a treasure. Sure, he he helped to modify the Genophage before but in the end, it'd been his brain and his brilliance that had cured it once and for all. The face that she'd managed to win Krogan support for the Turians and, in turn, Turian support for Earth when the time came, was small consolation to the Commander. To her, she'd just lost a friend and no amount of blaming the enemy and no amount of swearing that she'd blow them to hell, was helping ease that hurt.

With a sigh, she stood from her place at the table and crossed to the mess to the fridge. All she wanted was an icy cold beer but she found the fridge without any alcohol. "Fuck it," she stepped back and threw the door closed, "A warship full of Marines and not a single bottle of beer." Shaking her head, she stomped off toward the lounge in search of some whiskey instead but again, returned empty handed. "This is an absolute joke," she laughed in spite of herself, "No beer, no whiskey. Time to make do." Stepping behind the bar in the lounge, she quickly noted the bottles arranged there. Triple-distilled Turian brandy, couldn't touch that one, varied spirits that she wouldn't drink supposing you paid her and a single, solitary, unopened bottle of vodka. "That'll do," she pulled it from back of the bar, grabbed a glass and made for the elevator. "EDI," she spoke as the door to her cabin whooshed open, "Ask James to come up, tell him to bring a glass, we're going to drink to an old friend."

James took his time and by the time he reached her cabin, Johanna was already pouring her third shot. "Whoa, Lola," he laughed as she threw it back, "You started without me? Now I gotta catch up." He swiped the bottle from the small coffee table on his way past and then dropped down onto the sofa beside her. "So EDI tells me that we're drinking to a friends," he filled his glass and threw his own shot back, "Mordin?" Before she had a chance to snatch the bottle back from him, he quickly poured himself another and then sat the bottle back on the table. "You'll have to tell me about him, I hardly knew him. Only spoke to him a couple times while he was here. Wandered into the med bay to see the doc and she wasn't there, just this little Salarian dude talking about protein chains at four hundred miles an hour. Was he always like that?"

"Yeah," she nodded sadly, "He was always like that, never stopping for a second. I always thought that it must've helped him to think out loud like that but hell, it drove me crazy at first. I thought he'd never shut up." It was true, they'd all found him a little zany at first but everyone had come around in the end, even the most hardened Cerberus operatives had come to love him. "I wouldn't be here, none of my past crew would be here, if not for him," she poured herself another drink, "He came up with a counter measure for the Collectors' seeker swarms, he kept them off us," she knocked back another shot and slammed the glass back down, "Without him, we all would've been toast on Horizon. He was brilliant."

"Cerberus let you take a Salarian along for the ride?" Sure, James knew that she'd had a crew of many different races but he hadn't expected that a Salarian would've been welcome on a Cerberus ship. "He must've been good."

"They actually suggested him," Johanna laughed, "He was so highly thought of that the Illusive Asshole personally recommended him for my crew. Maybe it had something to do with his work on the Genophage project, I don't know, but he was more than welcome. Even Miranda came round to him in the end and that's saying something, her head was so far up the Illusive Asshole's asshole to begin with." She paused for a moment. "I remember when we first met him on Omega, Aria told us that he was as likely to shoot us as he was to help us, what can you expect from a former STG agent? He cured a plague in the slums that day. Just like that, he'd done it. I guess that's like today. Just like that, the Genophage is gone."

"Damn, wish I'd known him longer," James nodded, "A mad scientist. When it comes to crew, you sure do know how to pick 'em, don't you? Are you gonna add him to the memorial wall? Seems to me like someone who did as much as he did should be remembered somehow. We might not be able to give him a real send off but anything we can do, right? His name deserves to be up there with the Alliance names, he did die to help us."

"In a round about way, he did, yeah. I'd love to put his name up on the memorial wall. It's supposed to be for Alliance troops but fuck it. It's my memorial wall on my ship, my rules, he's going up there. We'll gather everyone together and do it right, or as right as it can be on a ship. It'll have to do." With a sigh, Johanna sank back against the sofa, her head resting on James' shoulder. "One good thing did come of today, though. No more Genophage, we'll all finally have a chance to see what a baby Krogan looks like. Hope they don't scream as much as our brats do."

James laughed, glad to see that her mood was improving. He wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him to press a soft kiss to the side of her head. "The big guy might regret making so many of them if they do. Speaking of, I guess he stayed back on Tuchanka? Smells a bit better on the command deck."

"Yeah, Wrex is staying back on Tuchanka. He's trying to unite all the clans under Urdnot rule. He has a good chance of doing it, it was an Urdnot female who helped them find their damn cure after all." Johanna couldn't help but laugh, "I'm having a hard time seeing Wrex as a president or a king, though. Can you imagine him wearing a crown?" The image was too much, or maybe it was the vodka, and she dissolved into a fit of laughter. "Wrex in a crown," she gasped, "Oh man, that's too funny. A royal head butt to whoever pisses him off." Another fit of giggles. "And I can imagine him talking to the council right now, he wouldn't know diplomacy if it set a Thresher on him. I gotta be a fly on the wall at that first meeting, I'd pay good money to see the look on the Turian councillor's face. I mean, he doesn't like me and I'm a tiny-ass woman. What's he gonna look like when a nine hundred pound Krogan is making demands of him?"

Leaning forward, James poured them both another shot and then handed her one. "So here's a toast. To Wrex. King of the Krogan," he struggled to keep a straight face as Johanna burst into yet another fit of laughter, "And future thorn in the side of our esteemed council." He raised his glass, clinked it against hers and then threw it back. "Oh wait, shit," he slammed his glass back onto the table, "I forgot to say something flowery like may his reign be long or some bullshit like that. Oops. Shitty toast."

Johanna stopped laughing for long enough to drink and then done was gone again. "Flowery bullshit," she stood from the couch and lifted the bottle, this time forgetting all about the glasses on the table, preferring instead to just take a swig. "To Wrex, the fucking giant," she raised her hand, waving the bottle around, "May he make many, many babies and not drown in their shit and may he bash many, many heads together. Long may he keep the Krogan in check and long may he kick ass." Smiling, she took another long swig from the bottle and then thrust it toward James. "That's how you do a toast. Drink." She paused for a second and then stumbled toward the steps, "I haven't checked my messages since we got back. Gonna do that first. Drink." She sat at her desk and brought up her comm screen, grinning as she saw the name on the first one. "Speaking of our huge friend, he sent me a message!"

James drank from the bottle after a moment or two and then busied himself with finding a vid for them both to watch in bed. "No doubt he's taking about all those babies he wants to make, right? Or is he talking about how his men are gonna go dig a few million Turian asses out of a hole? Or both? Tell me it's both!"

"In a nutshell," Johanna grinned and quickly typed a reply. She was fairly certain she hit a few wrong keys thanks to all the vodka running through her veins but Wrex wouldn't care. He'd probably raise his own half-barrel of Ryncol and laugh at her being a lightweight. It didn't take much to be considered a lightweight when your drinking partner was a Krogan. "Sent him a quick message back, told him to have a Ryncol or five for us since we've just toasted him over Vodka. Just one more message to check out and then I'm done. You found a vid yet?"

"Nah, your collection is shit movie after shit movie," James shook his head and brought up his omnitool, a quick extranet search would solve the problem. "Just gonna rent one from one of those extranet places. Something with plenty explosions, shouldn't be hard to find something good." He scrolled through page after page of Blasto vids and yet more pages filled with Blasto rip-offs. "Finally, here's something that ain't Bla.." He was cut off by Johanna standing up so fast that she sent her office chair flying backward. "Whoa, Lola," he quickly flicked his omnitool off. She had that look in her eye, the one she got whenever she was about to step off the deep end. "You gotta calm your shit down," he made toward her, "You've had lot to drink and I ain't dealing with the hole you leave in the god damn aquarium when you lose control."

"I'm not the psychotic biotic," Johanna seethed, her fists balled and glowing with that familiar blue hue, "That's Jack. Read this." She stepped aside to give James room to read the message from Dalatrass Linron. Over the course of the night, her anger had given way to sadness and then light-heartedness in turn - now she was right back at anger. "I can keep myself under control but I swear to God, the Goddess and whatever other deities there are that if I ever see that bitch again, I won't be so kind. She thinks I'm a bully? I'll fucking show he just how much of a bully I can be." In the back of her head, she knew that James was right - a drunk biotic was handful enough but a drunk, angry biotic? If she did lose control, well, it didn't really bear thinking about. "She's ashamed that one of her own did the right thing, can you believe that? Who the fuck does she think she is sending that shit to me. Move over, I'm gonna reply."

James moved to leather back to the comm screen. "Are you sure you wanna do that, Lola? I mean, shit, you're angry and she's angry, there's a whole lotta anger floating around. You really wanna put her in her place?"

Truth be told, Johanna had no desire to get into a war of words with the Salarian, she just wanted to let her know what she thought. Nothing more and nothing less. "I'm not gonna tear her a new one, if that's what you're thinking," her fingers tapped against the holographic keyboard as she composed her reply. Even with her standard Alliance e-mail signature tacked to the bottom, it wasn't more than a few lines long. "Done."  
James stood behind her to read her message.

_**To: Dalatrass Linron  
From: Johanna Shepard  
Subject: RE: Your Regrettable Decision**_

_**Dalatrass:**_

_**Kiss my ass.**_

_**Sincerely,  
Lt. Cmdr. J. A. Shepard  
Systems Alliance Navy**_

"Aaaaaaand send," James reached over and hit the button to send the message on its way. "Loving the rhyme. Don't think she'll love it as much but who gives a shit." He turned the comm screen off and stepped back, crossing his arms across his chest. "Now are we done sending smart assed replies?"

"I guess we are," Johanna had calmed down, "Amazing what sending one little message can do for a mood." She stepped to him and captured his lips with her own. "You said something about watching a vid? You set us up, I'm gonna change." It took her a moment to collect a shirt and a pair of shorts and then she was off toward the bathroom.

"Kiss my ass, Dalatrass," James spoke under his breath as he shook his head. "Classic."

* * *

_A/N :: I ain't expecting this chapter to take as long as it did. I blame writers block - the words just weren't there. Hopefully future chapter won't be quite so challenging and well be able to get back to normal! Fingers crossed!_

_As always, thank you to everyone for the reviews - you are all wonderful and your feedback is always appreciated._

_"Miss Sara Diane," - thank you! I'm hoping the struggle ends soon, though!_

_"Skylark16'" - you're right, talking to inanimate objects when they don't work DOES make a person feel better!_

_"Katschaba," - I'm sure there'll be plenty more rewards for James as time goes on :)_

_"Liso66," - Thank you so much for the reviews on the first five chapters, they are all greatly appreciated! And, also, thank you for all the kind words. :)_


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